Shattered in the Night
by onetreefan
Summary: After events have destroyed the hearts of those once strong, could they ever find the light toward a better tomorrow?  Sequel to "Comfort in Darkness" MG
1. Chapter 1

Penelope sat on the couch watching Kevin pace like a mad man. He'd been on his seventh shot of whiskey for the night, with the drinking only starting fifteen minutes prior. Kevin was turning into the monster that she was desperate to run from. He had agreed to get help. He had been clean for three months. Three months of progress.

Until Emily Prentiss died.

Until Penelope gave herself in wanting and pain to her best friend.

Until this evening when he found out.

They were fooling around on the couch. Penelope was no fool. She knew that what they had wasn't love. She had only experienced love in the arms of her best friend, the man who would always have her: Derek Morgan. As Kevin's pasty lips moved down her neck, she imagined Derek's hands touching her, caressing her. She would remember how he drove into her, the rush of his hardness tearing her apart from the inside. She could recall his moans and grunts as he assault her body with love and pain. She could recall the way their tears helped heal one another for that singular moment of comfort and passion.

Until he left her.

Derek had held her until he believed she was asleep. With her eyes closed and her heart beating a mile a minute, she felt Derek's regret filled gaze as he watched her naked form rest. She could feel his guilt and dismay. Penelope feared to open her eyes to find disgust and shame within his onyx eyes. She heard the door close quietly before she broke down completely. Loneliness and abandonment had never greeted her so viciously. Penelope couldn't contain the hurt and betrayal she felt from the Bureau, the government, her life.

And yet, she couldn't be angry with Derek. He had every right to leave her. There was nothing in that moment spoken to indicate what they had wasn't more than a one time thing. Penelope was the one who was left heart broken, who would need to mend from not only the loss of a sister, but begin the process of mourning the love that she experienced that tragic evening.

"Derek?"

Penelope was brought back to her reality when she looked at her disheveled boyfriend. Guilt filled her heart for this moment ending up this way. She knew she should have never invited him over. She should have never kissed him to ease her loneliness. She should never have allowed herself to go back to the memories of the most passionate evening of her life. She should have remembered who was assaulting her body with lips and caresses instead of moaning the name of the keeper of her heart.

It was with moanful whisper of Derek's name that everything changed.

Kevin stilled above her while anger and betrayal clouded his eyes. "Derek?" he asked moving backwards as if Penelope was the plague.

Ashamed and shocked by her own actions, Penelope sat up began buttoning her blouse. "Kevin, honey I didn't mean it. Im sorry."

"God damn it, Penny, I should have known." Pain was quickly replaced by loathing and disgust as he asked, "How long have your been fucking your very own GI Joe?" Kevin asked venomously.

Standing up, Penelope followed him as Kevin moved to the kitchen and pulled out the whiskey. Making a movement to stop him, he slapped her across the face and yelled down, "I am allowed a fucking drink!"

Words could not come to her as she pressed a hand to her cheek and felt the warmth of blood upon her fingers. She brought herself up shakily against one of her bar chairs and Penelope looked at him sadly. "Kevin, I understand you are angry. You have every right to be, but please let me explain."

Kevin took a second shot in the course of ten seconds. Laughing angrily, he spoke, "Explain? Explain what Penelope? That I have been trying to fight for us, to win your love, and in a moment of intimacy you moan that fucking agent's name! The man who I have never measured up to? The man who goes and fucks woman after woman and leaves you after eye fucking you every day! You moan Special Agent Derek Fucking Morgan's name while you are kissing me and you feel that there is more to explain?" Kevin brought the bottle and a glass with him as he moved toward the coffee table. "If you feel there is more to explain, then sit your ass down and explain it to me, Penny!"

Kevin stalked toward her and pulled her arm harshly while he held her wrist in a tight grip. He threw her on the couch and slapped her across the face once she was seated. "Explain!"

With her hands shaking, she looked up at Kevin with truth in her eyes. "It was the day of Emily's funeral. We were both upset and he came up to talk. I don't know how it happened, but we both needed comfort, to be able to feel something other than depression and pain." Penelope hoped that she hid her passion and lack of regret from her demeanor.

Swallowing another glassful of whiskey, Kevin snorted and shook his head. "Penny, I didn't contact you when Emily died because I knew you were upset. I kept my distance because I knew you needed to be with your _family, _your _team!_ I kept to myself these past couple days believing I was being considerate, being the man you needed me to be." Kevin stood and made his way in front of Penelope. "But really, it wasn't that you didn't need me. No, no you needed your time to screw Derek. You needed me out of the way so you can whore yourself to the neanderthal of the BAU!"

Penelope looked up at Kevin and a fire was sparked within her. "Be angry with me, Kevin. I am the one who betrayed you. But do not bring my family into this. Derek was there for comfort purposes only."

Kevin laughed with evil laced in the motions. He stood behind her and grabbed her hair pulling her over the couch and onto the floor. "You really think Derek would ever want someone like you? Hell, I could barely look at you!" Kevin began kicking her stomach, torso and legs with harsh precision. Penelope felt the tears fall from her eyes, but the fight not leave her.

"Is this what you wanted, Penelope? Do you think Derek is going to come here and save you now? Save your fat ass from your punishment, you filthy whore?" The kicks and the punches continued. Kevin found the bottle of whiskey and proceeded to pour it on her. The sting of the alcohol upon her body made her writhe in pain and torment. "You have anything to say, Miss Penny?" Kevin said looking down at Penelope's battered form.

She rolled to her side, facing his feet and proceeded to cry in laughter and pain. Biting her lip, she looked up at him and said, "Derek was the best I ever had."

"Don't push me, Penelope," Kevin warned, his fists clenching along his sides.

Laughing more to instigate him, Penelope continued, "You will never be a quarter of the man Derek is."

"You don't fucking listen!" Kevin said as he lifted her and threw her back on the couch.

Penelope moaned in pain as the new texture assaulted her beaten and bloody body. However distress and panic rose within her as she felt Kevin spread her legs and reach for her panties. "No!" she yelled, looking around her for any protection. She could only hear Kevin's laugh as she writhed beneath him in horror. As Kevin began unzipping his pants, Penelope was able to reach an empty beer bottle of Derek's and broke it against the coffee table. Lifting the shattered glass with shaky hands, Kevin stopped his movements rose his hands in defeat. "Get the hell off me, you pitiful bastard," Penelope growled.

Kevin quickly moved off of her as she sat up and painfully lifted her head and met his gaze. "Now, Penny, there is no need to be hasty."

"You listen to me, you piece of shit. You are going to drop me off at the hospital and then you are going to run. Run from Quantico, run from your mommy, run from the United States if you are so fortunate. You will never make contact with the Bureau or me ever again or I will do things to you that are far worse than death." Penelope stared at him with determination and seriousness. She couldn't take comfort in the fact that Kevin's stance was one of a pitiful man without a cock to balance him. He was a weasel who was able to beat her, but she would never let him win.

"Why should I?" Kevin asked stupidly, shuffling his feet.

"Because if you don't, I will call Derek, Aaron and David and they will tear you limb by limb at my command." Penelope felt light headed from the stress and abuse done to her form. Tasting more blood that was rushing to her mouth, she ordered, "Take me to the hospital now!"

Penelope kept the shattered bottle in her hand aimed toward Kevin as he drove her to the hospital. As he drove, she pulled up the contacts on her phone and had Aaron's number ready to dial at Kevin's slighted error. At the entrance of the Emergency Room, she got out of the vehicle and he sped away, not turning back.

When she started walking toward the hospital, a nurse on stand by rushed to her arms. "Mam! Please sit down! I need a table stat!"

"Please," Penelope moaned, shakily handing her phone. "Call Aaron Hotchner. Tell him to bring no one."

Confused, the nurse asked, "Mam, I need you to state your name for me please."

"Penelope Garcia." That was all she could speak before her world faded to black.


	2. Chapter 2

_Derek was running, searching down a dark alley. He had little man power beside him as he instructed them to look down empty corridors and pathways. His heart was racing and his gun was drawn. _

_Coming down the path, a fog began to surround him. Looking around him, he saw no one. No one from his team was beside him. His stomach fell when he heard a scream coming east bound through the fog. "Hotch, I hear something," Derek informed into his transmitter. _

"_Find her, Derek. Find Emily," Hotch ordered. _

_Sighing, Derek started running into the fog. He used his instincts to guide him as his vision was clouded. Moans and sobs were heard and he began to feel helpless. "Prentiss! Prentiss do you hear me?" Derek cried out. _

"_Morgan, Garcia has a visual," he heard Hotch say over the line._

"_Where? Where does Garcia see her?" he asked. _

"_Stay straight and enter the door to the left with the red tape," Garcia instructed over the receiver. _

_Derek ran faster, looking for colors through the fog. The cries and sobs were growing louder and Derek felt so tired. "Where are you?" he yelled into the air. _

_When he opened his eyes, he stood before the red door. He moved to step back but realized that there was only a brick wall. With what leverage his had, he kicked down the door and yelled, "FBI!" as he rushed through. He saw a dark figure stepping back from Emily's bleeding body and Derek shot to kill. With a bullet straight to the chest, the figure fell to the ground by a pile of wood. _

_Taking a deep breath, Derek rushed to Emily's side and yelled over the receiver, "Hotch! I found her. I need the medics NOW!" Moving her hand to study the stake within her stomach, Derek felt bile rush up his throat. "Emily, Emily you need to stay awake. Come on, you need to wake up." _

"_Why Derek?" she asked, a drop of blood escaping her mouth. _

"_You need to come back to us, back to the team, your family," Derek said holding her hand tightly. "You just need to stay with me, stay with me, Emily." _

"_Im gone," she said, her body growing colder with each second. _

"_No, don't think that way, Prentiss. My partner doesn't think that way," Derek said, sweat pebbling upon his head. _

"_Why did you shoot her?" Emily asked brokenly, her body giving into unconsciousness. _

"_Her?" Derek asked shaking his head at his delirious partner. In that moment a familiar sob rung through the room and his heart stopped. Looking over at the body he had shot, the figure was no longer dressed in a dark suit, but a black dress with pearls wrapped around her neck. "No," he moaned as he removed himself from Emily's body and moved the wood away from the other body. "Please no, not her," he cried as he looked down at Penelope's dead face. Blood puddled beneath her and tears were shed from her eyes. "No!" Derek cried attempting to pull her into his arms. However, her body began vanishing from his sight. "Baby Girl, Baby Girl, stay with me. Don't leave me, Penelope," Derek yelled as he scrambled to grasp her vanishing form. _

"No!" Derek sat up in bed and felt his heart race in fear. Looking around him, his bedroom was empty, Clooney was on the couch and he was sweating like mad. He felt vomit rise to his throat as he rushed to the bathroom and proceeded to empty the contents of his stomach. While his body attempted to return to normal, he reached for the Listerine due to his need to freshen his mouth and mind. He couldn't shake the images of Emily and Penelope from his mind. He knew Penelope was safe and alive, but Emily was gone. She was dead and no one was ever going to bring her back.

Derek turned on the hot water to take a shower. It was the only way he knew to cleanse him from his nightmares. The more recent events in his life were taking a toll on his every move. He couldn't sleep without thinking of Prentiss's dying body or her funeral. His horrors of his past began haunting him. Bufford, Foyet, Flynn, Doyle, they were all making appearances into his unconscious. No night in had he found comfort from his demons.

Expect one night, the one he spent with her.

It may have been birthed from pain and suffering, but Derek had never felt more at home or complete than in Penelope's loving arms. As he stepped under the hot water, he allowed the heat to wash away his hurt and suffering. Resting his hands against the wall of the shower, Derek allowed the forceful water to hit upon his head and shoulders in an attempt to relax him. His mind wandered to their passionate moment, the one that healed him more than words.

_Derek felt his heart be overwhelmed with love and care as his baby girl touched him. He truly believed that her heart and presence were blessed by the Gods or whatever higher power granted them this moment to turn their lives away from their sad existence for just a moment. As she undressed him, he moved his hand to her hair and removed her small hat. He couldn't stop touching her hair or face as she cared for him like no other woman had in his past._

He could feel himself growing hard as he thought of her gentle touches. Reaching down to stroke his growing cock, he moaned at the thought of her eyes and her touch.

_Standing before him, she looked into his heartbroken eyes as she reached behind her and unzipped her dress. She pushed the shoulders down and allowed the black dress to fall around her ankles. Stepping backwards from the heap, she lifted her feet one at a time and released them from their mission to provide her height and balance. Her fingers fidgeted as she reached behind her and removed her polka dot bra. Allowing the straps to fall, she lowered her arms and the bra fell upon the floor. Her hands made their way to her panties and she lowered them to the floor. When she stood before him once again, she looked into his deep eyes once again. Penelope was bare and in pain before her best friend. She blinked away her onset of tears and allowed the cold in the room to make her tremble. _

_Derek had never seen an image as beautiful as his Penelope as she stood before him. He wanted to tell her, encourage her, insist upon her that she was what he wanted and needed. He opened his mouth to speak these words when she took a step closer to him, between his thighs, and pressed her lips to his. He gripped her tightly as her warm body came into proximity. Their mouths worked in a natural dance that neither needed to explain or motivate. _

_Derek laid her down beneath her sheets and placed himself above her. He took her lips in a kiss that was filled with their pain and sadness._

_His hands cupped her breasts and she arched her body against him. She clung to him like a lost rabbit, needing to find home in his form. Her kisses were starving and desperate, full of love and heartbreak. He took comfort in her every caress and moan. Derek took deep pride in knowing it was him that caused the flooding of warm moisture between her ivory thighs. _

"_Now, Derek," she whispered in his ear, her lips and teeth marring his neck and shoulder. "I need you, Derek," she moaned, arching her hips against his steel hard cock. _

Derek proceeded to stroke faster as memories of her trembling and hungry form filtered her mind. He could taster her kiss, her sweat, her love. Overwhelmed by sensation, Derek growled as his movements grew harsher and more deliberate. He could see her bruised lips, the glow of sex upon her ivory body, her heaving breasts.

However when his memories moved to her eyes, it was as if a bucket of cold water covered his naked frame. He remembered her sobs as he closed her door behind him. He remembered her courage, her bravery as she let him empty himself inside him. He remembered her soft caresses against his back and how she turned from him in slumber. He remembered feeling lost, scared, helpless from the loss of Emily once their moment ended. He remembered feeling undeserving of the love that she had just given him, and he remembered the pain it caused him to leave her warm bed. He could remember being saddened that she hadn't made him aware of her consciousness, but allowed him to leave her. He remembered leaning his head against her wooden door as her sobs escaped through her apartment and tore into his heart, a bullet that would never heal. He remembered entering the truck and looking toward the front door asking God to give him the strength to drive away from the best thing to ever happen to him because she deserved so much more. He remembered his tears as he drove back to his home knowing he tore the heart of the only woman he ever loved.

Turning off the now cold water, Derek reached behind the shower door and grabbed the nearest towel. Smiling sadly, he realized it was one of Penelope's. Shaking his head, he left the bathroom and mad his way to his refrigerator to grab a beer in the hopes of sending him back to slumber. Looking at the photos on the refrigerator, he saw the happiness that had existed in the BAU just weeks before. Photos of him with each member of the team were scattered. His eyes fell to the photo with him and Emily. They had taken a photo with their copies of Slaughterhouse Five. Reid had needed to take the photo five times because his hands wouldn't stop shaking from his initial nervousness around Emily. Derek smiled at the memory, but her loss was still too real for him.

Moving toward the couch, he sighed and leaned his head back against the wall. Clooney whined beside him and Derek smiled sadly at his furry companion. "Come here, Boy," he said motioning for the dog to sit beside him. Once he did, Derek took a look to his right and was surprised to find his phone next to a photo of him and Penelope.

They had been having one of their movie nights when JJ came into the conference room and stole a photo of the partners in crime. She had leaned her neck upward prior to the flash and pressed a kiss to his cheek. His eyebrows shot up in surprise and JJ laughed when the moment was captured on film. "Don't delete it!" Penelope cried out, reaching for JJ. "That is to live on forever!" Derek could only smile and return to holding his Goddess while watching one of their assorted movies.

He missed her. He knew that. He needed to speak to her, check on her, be there for her. Restlessly, he grabbed the phone beside him and looked up "Baby Girl" in his contacts. Suddenly, nervousness filled his stomach and he began tapping his foot. Would she answer him? Did she want to talk to him? Did she understand? Does she hate me? All those questions filled his mind as he stared down at his phone. Looking toward his dog, Clooney looked up at him with sad brown eyes. "Should I call her boy?" he asked. A whine was his only response and Derek chuckled at his tired companion.

The phone rang, which was unusual for his Goddess. He was accustomed to her ring back tones by this point. Once five rings passed, her voicemail box arrived saying, "This is Penelope Garcia, also known as the Oracle of all knowledge. I am currently unavailable but please leave me a message and I will return your call. Live, Laugh, Love everyone!"

Derek sighed as the automated voice instructed to leave a message after the beep. Once it beeped, he spoke, "Hey... it's me... I miss you... I know we have a lot to talk about, but I haven't heard from you... I just... I need... Baby Girl, I just..." Sighing, Derek took a deep breath and regrouped, "Penelope, just call me when you get this. I would love to hear from you. I miss you. Okay, Goodnight."

Closing his phone frustratedly, Derek tossed his phone toward the opposite chair and sighed. Scratching behind Clooney's ears, Derek looked down and said, "Do you think I will ever fix this?" To Derek's dismay, Clooney fell asleep and began snoring loudly.

Chuckling softly, Derek removed himself from his dog's hold and moved toward his lonely bed, leaving his phone behind.


	3. Chapter 3

Aaron Hotchner was known to be a man of silent strength. He was a leader to deal with the most horrific and chaotic situations and help his agents be the best they can be. However, what he never expected was that his team would become his family. They all helped him after the loss of Haley, the battles with Strauss, his counseling after his ordeal with Foyet. His team became his reason to exist and to be strong other than his son. Now his family was facing heartbreak and despair through the loss of Emily Prentiss. As he washed the dishes from his and Jack's dinner, he reflected back on the moment he realized that he had lost Emily.

"_She never made it off the table," JJ said as a tear fell from her eyes. _

_Derek leaned his body back against his chair as Penelope broke down into sobs. Dave began to suffer quiet anguish while Ashley attempted to absorb the fact that her mentor was gone. Spencer tried to run. Hotch knew Spencer wanted to find her, see her dead body for himself. He was thankful that JJ stopped him and held him as he broke down. He felt as if his heart dropped to his stomach, each beat tearing him apart. He needed to step out of the room before his team saw him break. _

_When he stepped out of the visitor's lounge, Aaron took a deep breath and held his head down in anguish. Emily was gone. The one who insisted he take care of himself after the suburban explosion that cost Kate's life. The woman who would offer to come over and watch Jack on nights he needed extra rest after a case. The woman who cared more than the rest after he was attacked and beaten by Foyet. She was taken from him and he never had the chance to tell her how important she was to him. _

_When he lifted his head to look out the corridor, he saw two federal agents exit the surgical arena. Holding a breath of hope, one man met his eyes. Giving a silent nod, the man looked down at the floor as they made their way toward the stairway in hiding. _

_Hotch kept his stare toward the surgical room. Could she be alive? he asked himself silently. _

_Without skipping a heart beat, JJ joined him in the hall way. Her blue eyes were haunted and sad. Shaking her head, she whispered to him, "She is in the custody of the secret service. Witness Protection, Aaron." _

"_I know," he said shaking his head. _

_Closing his eyes, he pivoted from her to go to join their team. However, her hand grabbed his wrist. He looked into her sad eyes as she informed him, "She wants to see you, to say goodbye." _

_Taking a deep breath, Aaron agreed and he whispered, "Tell the team I needed to sign off on her release to the morgue." Saying the words left a vile taste in her mouth. _

_When he entered her room, she was staring toward the closed window hoping to catch a glimpse of the Boston moon, large tears falling silently from her tortured brown eyes. She turned her attention toward the doorway when she heard the door close. As she laid in the hospital bed, her midsection wrapped in gauze, he never thought she looked more beautiful. _

"_Hotch," she whispered sadly. _

_Almost out of character, Aaron rushed to her side and took her into his arms. He could feel her body tense as their unorthodox contact was made. However, she quickly relaxed against him and tears fell from her eyes. _

"_Im glad you're alive," he whispered. _

"_They didn't want you to know," she said. "I told them you had to. I couldn't live knowing... knowing that you thought..."_

"_You don't need to explain," he said wiping away one of her tears from her cheek. _

_She nodded. She looked so lost, so broken. He wanted nothing more than to tear Doyle limb by limb for doing this to her, for taking her from him, their family in the BAU. _

_She grabbed his hand and touched his face timidly. "Will you do something for me, Aaron?" she asked softly. Nodding, she continued, "I want you to make sure that the team stays together, that they don't break apart with my loss. Reid is going to feel betrayed and may read more into his headaches, causing a slip into illness. Please watch over him. Make sure that Dave continues to mentor Seaver now that I am gone. Keep Garcia and Morgan's banter alive, you and I both know they will need to lean on one another. And..." Emily wiped away her tears before she met his black eyes again, "please take care of yourself. Remind Jack that I will always love him, but please, don't run from love Aaron."_

"_Em..."_

"_Aaron, I don't know if I will ever see you again. I need to know that somehow, someway you are moving passed this."_

_He couldn't look at her for a moment. His heart was breaking at her request. "I don't want this," he whispered. _

"_Me either," she said sadly. "This is to protect you, protect our family, protect me."_

"_I will never stop hunting him down," he said looking into her eyes. "And when he is dead, you can return to us."_

"_He has a lot of allies," she said sadly._

"_I will hunt them all," he said with conviction. _

_There was a knock at the door that removed them from their intimate moment. His heart raced in panic as he realized he was going to be torn from her. He leaned forward and pressed a firm kiss upon her lips, shocking her in the motion. A final goodbye he desperately needed. Separating himself from her, he stood and felt his legs turn to lead. Looking into her haunted eyes, he shuddered internally as his frame stood controlled. "Goodbye, Emily." he whispered._

_With a tear falling, she released his hand and replied, "So long Aaron." _

_As her witness protection detail informed him of the importance to keep his silence, he kept a running mantra in his mind to convince himself that Emily Prentiss was dead. She wasn't alive. She wasn't ever coming home. Nodding to himself, he began compartmentalizing his suffering to be the leader he needed to be in this time of devastation. _

"Daddy!" Jack yelled, shaking Aaron from his memories.

He looked down at his son who was looking at him with sad but loving eyes. In his hand was a collection of flowers with dirt and roots on the end. Raising an eyebrow, he asked, "Jack? What are those?"

"Flowers," he responded quickly.

"Where did you find those flowers?" he asked.

"Our backyard. I think we have a lot Daddy," Jack informed him.

"Why do you have flowers?" Aaron asked.

"They are for Miss Emily," Jack replied. "I know she isn't going to come over until tomorrow, but I wanted to put them in water and she can see them tomorrow."

Aaron felt like he had been punched in the gut. He had been so grateful that Jessica had kept Jack from news stations and papers for the past few days. Otherwise he would have known about the loss of his dear friend. Taking a deep breath, he took the flowers from Jack's hand and placed them on the counter. "Come here, buddy," he said sadly, moving him toward the couch. "You and I need to talk."

"Am I in trouble for the flowers?" Jack asked nervously.

Smiling inwardly, Aaron replied, "No, no you aren't." He didn't know how he was going to do this. First Haley, now Emily. Jack was going to be devastated once he learned the truth. "Jack, I need to tell you something."

Jack's brown eyes that were just like his met his gaze. His hair was like Haley's, however his mannerisms and facial structure were all him. Taking his time, Aaron spoke delicately, "Miss Emily isn't going to be coming over anymore."

"Is she mad at me?" Jack asked sadly.

"No, no she isn't mad at you," Aaron responded quickly. "You see, do you remember where Mommy is?"

"In heaven," Jack replied.

"Yes. Well, Miss Emily is in heaven now."

Aaron watched as horror, sadness, devastation and anger marred his young son's face. "No!" he yelled standing to his feet. "Miss Emily is not in heaven! She can't be! I am never going to see her again!" he screamed.

"Jack, calm down," Aaron ordered sadly, his own heart breaking as his son's tears fell.

"Why didn't you save her, Daddy?" Jack cried. "It's your job to save people! Why couldn't you save MIss Emily? She loved me, daddy!"

Shocked by his question, Aaron felt as if Jack stabbed him. "Jack..."

"I loved Miss Emily and now she's gone!" Knocking over the magazines as he ran to his room, Jack slammed the door and Aaron could hear the broken sobs of his little boy.

Aaron couldn't help but stand and pace in his living room. Chaos and anguish tortured him as he remembered Jack's pain, Emily's goodbye and her funeral all in a flash. Clenching a fist, Aaron spun and punched the wall, leaving a hole in his wake. Taking the time to regroup and focus, Aaron allowed the anger to wash off of him in waves as he body shuddered in frustration.

Suddenly, the sound of his cell phone ringing shook him from his sadness. Moving to his phone, he noticed it was from a blocked number. Answering it, he spoke firmly, "Hotchner."

"Am I speaking to Aaron Hotchner?" the voice asked.

"You are. Who is this?" he asked.

"My name is Nurse Michelle Mason from Mercy General. I have been instructed by Ms. Penelope Garcia to contact you."

His blood rushed cold at the name of his analyst. "Is Penelope alright?" he asked.

"Sir, she came in severely beaten. Before she passed out, she gave me her phone and ordered me to contact you instead of her next of kin, a Mr. Derek Morgan. We believe that this is a domestic violence issue. Is Mr. Morgan Ms. Garcia's partner?"

_Beating. Domestic Violence. Penelope. _Shuddering, Aaron replied, "No, no Mr. Morgan is not her partner. He is her best friend, however. Did her boyfriend, Analyst Kevin Lynch come in with her?"

"No, she came in individually after being dropped off in a red sedan," Nurse Mason informed.

_Shit_, he thought to himself, _That's Lynch's car_. When Derek realized what Kevin did, he was going to land in jail for homicide. "Nurse, are you sure that Garcia asked for you to call me?" he asked.

"Yes, she was quite adamant, Sir. She is conscious now and is trying to fight hospital protocol."

With a frustrated sigh, Aaron said, "I will be right there. Keep her sedated if you need to."

With a heavy sigh, fear began welling inside the leader once again. He didn't know what the team would do if they lost Penelope. She was the heart of the team, the woman reminded each member of their worth and purpose. With the loss of Emily, Penelope's beating would do great damage to everyone on the team. Maybe that was why she ordered the staff to contact him instead of Derek. Penelope knew Morgan better than she knew herself. He knew he would need to ask those questions once he got to his injured analyst.

He looked through his contacts and dialed JJ's number. Jessica was out of town with her fiancee and he needed a sitter fast. "JJ, it's Hotch. I need a favor."

"Sure, what's up?" JJ asked. Will had just left on a case and Henry was lost in Toy Story.

"Can I drop off Jack with you? I just got an urgent phone call and I need to leave Jack, however Jessica is away for the weekend."

"It's not a problem, Hotch. Is everything okay?"

Aaron felt nervous as he realized that JJ was Penelope's best friend. News of her beating would be devastating toward his friend. Deciding to keep her off the topic, he said, "I had to tell Jack that Emily died today."

"Oh Aaron," JJ said, bracing a hand to her chest. "How is he?"

"Angry, betrayed, heartbroken. He blames me," he answered sadly.

"What?" she questioned in surprise.

"He told me I didn't save her," he said.

"That isn't true," she whispered. "You and I both know that you got to her in time. Jack needed to know she was gone. You couldn't have predicted this reaction."

"This was so much angrier than when he realized Haley was gone," Aaron recalled. "I have never seen him so devastated."

"Well, bring him over and he and Henry can watch Cars. I know how much he loves that."

"Thank you JJ," he said full of gratitude.

"As I said, not a problem. And Aaron?"

"Yes?"

"Don't think you are getting away from telling me the real issue when you get here."

Chuckling sadly, Aaron responded, "Okay, we will be there shortly. Thank you JJ."

Closing his phone, Aaron began gathering his and Jack's things praying that Garcia would be healing without too much fuss until he got there.


	4. Chapter 4

Aaron pulled up to JJ and Will's home parking beside their mail box. Looking into the rear view mirror, he watched as Jack kept his firm angry face toward the outside while he wiped away his rebellious tears. In so many ways, Jack was turning into him. Aaron didn't know if that was because of the loss of Haley or if it was destined for Jack to end up like his father. He could recall the most recent halloween when Jack had dressed like him saying that he was his hero. That seemed like a lifetime ago after everything that had passed and Jack's current heartbroken and harsh demeanor.

"We are here, buddy," Aaron said turning to look at his son. "Are you ready to go inside?"

Jack said nothing but began unbuckling his seat belt and moved to exit the door. Before he could open it, Hotch reached back and grabbed his free hand. "Jack, I miss Emily too. She was..." Aaron had to phrase his next words delicately. "She was my best friend."

Turning to meet his eyes, Jack released two tears while asking, "Why is she in heaven, Daddy?"

"Miss Emily is in heaven because she needs to be able to protect us in a different way. She will always be watching over you, keeping you safe from danger and helping other people when they are sad."

"Are you sad you didn't save her?" Jack asked innocently.

Shaky in his response, he replied, "Yes, Jack. I am very sad I didn't get to save Emily."

Sniffling, Jack asked sadly, "Do you think she knew I loved her?"

Nodding instantly, Aaron replied firmly, "Emily Prentiss knew that you loved her very much, my son. Now," he reached back and ruffled his hair, "Are you ready to spend time with Henry?"

Giving a silent smile, Jack only nodded and opened the door, carrying his lunch box of supplies up to the front door.

When JJ opened the door, she smiled brightly at Jack to keep him unaware that she noticed the tear tracks down his face. "Why hello Jack. I am so glad you came over to spend some time with Henry and me. Want to come inside?"

"Sure," he said stepping into the house. He smiled brightly at little Henry and what was just about to start on the television. "Cars!" Jack yelled as his attitude completely changed and he sat beside the growing toddler.

"Thank you for watching him," Hotch said watching his son play softly with Henry.

"It's never a problem," JJ replied. "Jack is wonderful. He is always very helpful and very considerate. You are raising a heartbreaker, Hotch," she said with a wink.

Giving a tight smile, Aaron responded, "He gets that from Haley. I have the charm of a bear."

JJ snorted and motioned for them to go into the kitchen so the kids wouldn't listen to their adult conversation. "Do you want some coffee?" she asked.

"No, I really need to get going," Aaron replied.

"Aaron, you had to know that you aren't leaving until I know why I am watching Jack this evening, not that I am complaining."

Sighing, Aaron rested his body against the counter top and studied the blonde blue eyed woman in front of him. He missed working with her in the Bureau. She was wonderful with everyone she encountered, and it wasn't simply because she was communications liaison. JJ possessed a sparkle that lit up a room and kept everyone on their toes. Penelope, Emily and JJ were the triad of sisters that were never to be messed with. She knew how to keep Derek on his toes while being the mother and sister figure Spencer desperately needed in his lonely young life. She was Dave's ultimate challenge, the only woman who could ever turn him down, and she kept Hotch in perspective, giving him light and guidance with every case. Now that her light and Emily's grace were gone from the team, Aaron had to question how the team would survive from this point.

"Are you just going to stare at me?" JJ asked, giving him a whimsical smile.

"After I told Jack about Emily's death, I received a phone call from Mercy General. Apparently Penelope has been admitted."

JJ felt her blood run cold within her veins. Tears rushed to her eyes as she gripped the countertop. "Oh my God, what happened?"

"She came in alone severely beaten. The nurse informed me that prior to her passing out from exhaustion, she gave the nurse her cell phone and ordered them to call me instead of her next of kin. Derek is listed as that person. Now, I don't know why she insisted that I be informed instead of Derek, but I think this has something to do with Kevin."

"Lynch?" JJ questioned, his name being spoken as if it was vile poison. "What does he have to do with this?"

"The hospital has footage of Penelope being dropped off from a red sedan and the driver fleeing the moment she exited the vehicle. The nurse who contacted me told me that doctors are insisting that this is a case of domestic abuse."

"I will kill him," JJ said, her small frame shaking in anger.

Hotch placed a firm hand on her shoulder to still her body. "Killing him won't undo her beating. And we are still speculating. I need to go to her and get some answers."

"You do," JJ nodded. "Do you have any idea why she wouldn't want Derek contacted?"

Shaking his head, Hotch answered, "Maybe she is concerned that he won't be able to look at the case objectively. Or maybe they are in a disagreement. I am really not sure."

"I know that Derek is taking Emily's loss extremely hard. Maybe Penelope is trying to save him from pain," JJ theorized.

Hotch looked at the clock and cursed himself for the time. "In any event, I need to get to the hospital. I haven't told Jack, so if you don't mind..."

"I won't say a thing," she said nodding in understanding.

"Thank you, JJ."

"And Aaron?"

Hotch turned toward the blonde and raised an eyebrow in question.

"I miss Emily too."

Sighing, Aaron walked out the door, ready to deal with this new heartbreak the BAU would be suffering.

When Hotch walked through the emergency room corridors, he flashed his badge to the men and women behind the nurses station and spoke firmly. "My name is Supervisory Agent Aaron Hotchner and I have been called on behalf of Technical Analyst Penelope Garcia. May I speak to her primary physician at this time?"

"Aaron Hotchner?" a voice asked from behind him.

Turning he looked the nurse up and down and asked, "Are you Nurse Mason?"

"Indeed I am. Doctor Johnson will be out to speak to you as soon as he is done seeing Ms. Garcia," the young nurse replied.

Nodding, Hotch stepped back to not be directly in the center on the pathway. When he looked up, he saw a frustrated man exit a panel. "Doctor Johnson!" Nurse Mason said toward the disgruntled man.

"What do you need?" he asked in a cranky tone.

"Doctor Johnson, this is Aaron Hotchner, Ms. Garcia's contact," Nurse Mason introduced.

"Doctor," Hotch extended his hand to shake his hand as a sign of respect. The doctor rolled his eyes and motioned for them to speak in the visitor's lounge. Unimpressed, Hotch began asking questions, not longer viewing him as an equal. "Doctor Johnson, how is Penelope's condition?"

"Have a seat, Agent Hotchner," Doctor Johnson directed. "I apologize for my frustration, but your friend is not the easiest patient."

"You have not answered my question," Aaron commented angrily. "How is Analyst Garcia's condition?"

"Agent Hotchner, I am not going to lie to you. Ms. Garcia took quite a beating. Her cheek bone was fractured and she needed significant stitches beneath her eyes, however I don't believe her face will be scarred. She has four broken ribs and two are dangerously angled toward her lungs. If she doesn't allow herself time to heal, she can risk puncturing her lungs and suffering severe internal bleeding. Her shoulder was dislocated, but now she is wearing a sling to keep the rotator cuff from being too inflamed. It seems that whiskey was poured over her body, which ironically helped heal cuts along her hands, stomach and face. However, the sting will continue to effect her as she moves. Her ankle is sprained, but given her upper body injuries, crutches are impossible and a wheel chair is too excessive. Instead, she is to keep her ankle wrapped 24/7 unless she is bathing. Now, she suffered a bad concussion, so she cannot sleep for 12 more hours, however, if she has proper care, she can begin to rest."

Hotch couldn't believe the significant damage that had been done to Penelope. Whenever he met with Kevin Lynch again, he was a dead man. "Now, why is Ms. Garcia considered a difficult patient?" Hotch asked.

"She keeps insisting that she can go home. She won't claim who did this to her. Fortunately, when we realized you were FBI, we didn't need to contact authorities. However, we cannot release her until we are confident that she has someone to take care of her. These are dangerous injuries Ms. Garcia has, and without proper care, she could be at risk of infections, illnesses or death."

Understanding the seriousness of her situation, Hotch nodded and asked, "Can I see her?"

Giving permission, Doctor Johnson began leading Hotch to Penelope's corridor. When he walked in, he felt the blood drain from his face as he saw his once colorful technical analyst look so small in her hospital bed. Her pulse was a little too rapid for his comfort and the frustration in her face was almost humorous.

"Finally!" she said, only raising one arm while the other remained in the sling. "You have come to set me free, Boss Man!"

"Not so fast," Doctor Johnson intervened, reviewing Penelope's chart. "You need to stay here over night for observation and then, when we are convinced you are being released to safe hands, you will be released."

Penelope huffed and looked to Aaron for support. "Doctor Johnson is right," Hotch said. "You need to be watched out for."

Penelope rested her head back in a huff and felt tears prick behind her eyes. "I just want to go home," she cried.

"You will tomorrow, Ms. Garcia. Are you in pain?" Doctor Johnson asked.

"Not right now," Penelope answered tearfully.

"I will have Nurse Mason give you more pain medicine in an hour when you are due. For now, keep it easy now that Agent Hotchner is here."

"Thank you, Doctor," Hotch said as the angry smaller man left the room.

Aaron took a timid step toward his tearful analyst. His heart broke seeing her so broken and abused. "Im sorry Penelope."

"Don't be, Boss Man. It was my own fault," Penelope said sadly, looking to her boss with sad eyes.

"Not that I object to being called while you were in significant medical distress, but why am I here if Derek is your next of kin?" he asked.

Taking a shaky breath, Penelope stared up at the ceiling fidgeting her thumbs beneath her sling. "It's a long story," she said painfully.

"We have time," Hotch commented.

Nodding, she said, "That we do, Aaron. That we do. I need to know, am I speaking to Aaron my friend, or Hotch my boss?"

"We are very much off duty, Garcia," Aaron said, reaching over softly to grasp her bruised hand. "Start from the beginning."

"Well once two hippies fell in love, or got high, I could never really know for sure..."

"Penelope," Hotch said, raising an eyebrow at her attempt to stall.

Huffing, Penelope surrendered and began explaining her experience. She told him about her sexual encounter with Derek. She discussed both their pain and their suffering after Emily's funeral. Hotch had to try and appear understanding while hiding the truth that Emily was indeed alive and somewhere out of his sight and contact. When she came to the point of the story when Derek left her, she saw him clench his fists in anger. She quickly grabbed his hands and moved her thumb in calming strokes. "Do not be angry with him, Hotch. He did nothing wrong. I know that I am never something Derek would want. I am just grateful that I was able to comfort him in our darkest hour instead of a low down cheap hooker at a bar."

"You're worth more than that," Aaron said angrily, becoming very defensive of his blonde friend.

Giving him a sad smile, she commented, "Derek deserves the best. He is the best agent you have, the best man I have ever known. He needs better than me, Aaron and you and I both know that." Aaron looked to object when she raised a hand to stop him. "There is much more to the story, but I need you to give up on this issue for right now and listen. Can you do that?"

Aaron only nodded and allowed her to continue. Penelope explained Kevin's situation. Him being in AA was a secret kept between her and Lynch for so long that when that fact came to Aaron's attention, he felt his blood run cold with the personal hell Penelope had gone through alone and without complaint. She gave a detailed account of the beating, his anger and she timidly informed him of his attempted sexual assault. Hotch was seeing red by the end of her story and he was pacing by her bed.

"I will hunt him down," he growled.

"You and the BAU army?" Penelope said with a sad chuckle.

"He won't get away with this," Aaron promised.

Penelope shook her head and felt the pain begin to settle in. Nurse Mason entered her area and refilled her pain medication through her IV, allowing Penelope to drift. Aaron looked at his fading analyst and felt his heart break for her suffering. "Im so sorry, Penelope," he said.

"You are here," she said with a sad smile. "You came. That is what matters to me, Aaron."

As Penelope drifted to sleep, Aaron clenched his teeth in anger. He realized that he had a lot of work to do before Penelope could return to her apartment. Once it got cleaned up, he knew he needed to yell at one of his better agents and hope he could fulfill his promise to Emily to keep their team together.


	5. Chapter 5

Aaron frowned as he and JJ entered Penelope's apartment. Chairs were turned over, glass was shattered, pillows were torn and there were trace amounts of blood that could only belong to Penelope. He had told his analyst that he would go to her place and grab her go bag from her bedroom closet. He wasn't being completely untruthful. He would be grabbing her belongings, as well as cleaning up her apartment to remove the immediate reminders of the abuse she suffered.

"Oh, Penelope," JJ said, holding a hand to her chest as she took in the sight of her best friend's sanctuary. Hotch had respected Penelope's friendship and privacy by not revealing the entire truth of the events that happened to Penelope in recent days since Emily's death, but his hatred for Kevin Lynch was more apparent than his trademark scowl upon his face. When JJ asked about Derek's absence, Aaron was quick to change the subject toward the extent of the care Penelope would need once she returned.

Both knew Penelope would never admit she needed help. They learned after Battle shot her that she was independent to a fault. Penelope barely let Derek help her, and he was her best friend. JJ sighed as she looked at the photographs around her apartment. The majority of the photos were of members of the team. However maybe only two in the entire apartment included Lynch, which surprised her after a three year relationship.

JJ could see the stress in her friend's demeanor. Placing a gentle hand on his forearm as he took in the mess of Penelope's unique apartment, she whispered, "Let me gather her things. You straighten up out here." He only nodded and moved toward the kitchen to straighten out her counter tops. However, before he placed a hand on near the broken glass, JJ stopped and tossed him a digital camera. "We need photographic evidence in case Penelope decides to press charges, Aaron." Nodding, he inhaled sharply and began photographing the kitchen as he cleaned.

JJ crossed the threshold of blue beads and looked at Penelope's sleeping quarters. She remembered girls nights in the apartment when Emily first joined the BAU. Penelope had hosted JJ's baby shower in this apartment, where JJ later slept on the bed she was currently studying for traces of sexual assault. Shuddering at the thought, she took minor photos of the bedroom due to the lack of evidence pointing to any violent interactions in the room.

When she came to the closet, she found Garcia's go back ready and packed. She knew of her best friend stepping up to the plate once Strauss and the Pentagon reassigned her. The thought still angers her that Garcia needed to change at all or that she, herself, was removed from her family like a game piece in chess. As JJ studied the closet, she was intrigued when she noticed that nothing belonged to Kevin. Nothing was recently moved or shuffled as she would have expected. It was as if he had nothing there, not even a toothbrush.

Yet, she saw a collection of Derek's belongings being stacked in the corner of the closet. She knew of their movie nights and sleep overs once he returned from a case. Penelope was the glue that kept Derek Morgan alive in the field and was the light that always brought him home.

JJ photographed the bathroom but spotted no evidence of foul play. When she looked toward the bedside table, she smiled at the photograph that was placed by the bejeweled telephone. Lifting it to view it clearly, it was the moment when JJ brought Henry to the BAU after a particularly grueling case. Agent Todd was nice enough to take a photo of their BAU family for Penelope's growing collection of photographs.

Studying the photo, JJ's heart skipped when she saw Penelope and Derek. JJ had let Penelope hold Henry so she could talk to Spencer. Derek had both his arms wrapped around Penelope's body from behind, securing her and Henry. In the flash, Penelope was looking at the camera while Derek was looking right down to their friend. His gaze was full of love and emotion. She sighed sadly wondering what happened in the past couple days to have her and Aaron here instead of Derek.

A flashing light shook her from her thoughts as she took notice of Penelope's answering machine. There had been five missed calls and one voice message. With a pen in hand, JJ was ready to note who was on the hunt for her best friend. However, her hand couldn't force the pen to write as Derek's voice came over the receiver.

"_Hey... it's me... I miss you... I know we have a lot to talk about, but I haven't heard from you... I just... I need... Baby Girl, I just... Penelope, just call me when you get this. I would love to hear from you. I miss you. Okay, Goodnight."_

JJ wasn't a profiler, but she knew Derek Morgan very well. She knew the pain and longing in his voice as he reached out for Penelope. Taking a sad breath, JJ wiped a tear from her eyes in wonder of what had transpired within her family and how Derek would handle the news of Penelope's attack.

Aaron started to grow angry as he picked up pieces of shattered glass from different sections of the living room. Looking around, he wished he could be absorbed by the bright love and light that Penelope possessed. However, blood and disturbed furniture tend to pollute darkness in all things pure. He wanted to know why Penelope kept Kevin's alcohol problem a secret from him. He knew and understood that everyone needed their secrets, however this was huge. She shouldn't have gone through it alone.

Looking around at the photos that dominated her apartment, he couldn't help but notice that Morgan lit up her world. Random items of his would be in the cabinets. His favorite foods were on stand by in her refrigerator. His favorite movies were in her DVD collection. This was Derek's sanctuary as well as Penelope's. Kevin had lived with being second place until it consumed him. His violence was the result of desperation, frustration, envy and disappointment. It didn't excuse his actions toward his analyst, but Aaron understood him more as a criminal.

Hotch took a photograph of a frame face down upon the ground. When he turned it over, it was one of Penelope and Derek at a carpentry fair. Aaron remembered this day because he couldn't make it due to Jack being down with the flu. Hotch took in Penelope's decorated carpenter's apron and Derek's bright smile. Their joy had significantly diminished in the past month, and with the loss of Emily as well as Penelope's attack, Aaron feared that joy would only be a distant memory.

Derek pulled up to Penelope's apartment surprised to see JJ's sedan parked where he tended to park. Parking across the street, he looked up at the apartment he hadn't ventured into since Emily's funeral. It was a moment of healing that he had to run from. It was all too real: Emily's death, his pain, Penelope's loyalty and love. He remembered her face as she came apart in his arms, her tight hold against his frame while her body rocked against him, sending him thrusting frantically within her.

He pulled himself from those thoughts when he thought of what he needed to say to her. More than anything, he wanted her to be his. He wanted to bed the man that held her tightly at night as she dreamed. He wanted her to be the woman who he'd give his life for. He wanted to be her heart as she was his.

Derek wasn't foolish. He knew he broke a part of their friendship when he fled from her bed. However, he was willing to do whatever it took to make her see that she was all he ever wanted or needed.

When Derek approached the front door, his stomach was knotted. He wondered if she'd slam the door in his face. He wondered if he'd watch her tears fall as she broke his heart. He feared her hating him. As he rang the door bell, he yelled through the door, "Baby Girl, it's me, D. I need to see you."

JJ walked through the beads swiftly as Aaron walked toward the door. "Aaron," she warned in a firm yet quiet voice. He only nodded and opened the door to his younger agent.

Derek was taken by surprise when Hotch opened the door. His gaze was serious and saddened. Looking over his shoulder, he saw JJ holding a camera, her eyes rimmed red. Derek felt as if his stomach plummeted to his ankles. "Where's Penelope?" he asked quietly.

"Come inside, Morgan," Aaron said firmly, letting him into the doorway.

He looked around Penelope's apartment and felt his heart race in fear. Along the ground was blood and broken glass. One of the arm chairs was turned on its side while the couch took several hits. He couldn't hear his Baby Girl's hums or laughter from anywhere in the apartment. "Where is Penelope?" he asked again, this time with more fear in his posture.

"Have a seat," JJ said, motioning him toward a chair.

"I don't want to sit," he snapped. "Where is Penelope, Hotch?"

"Penelope was admitted to Mercy General last night, Derek," Hotch answered. "She was dropped off and left alone. Before she fell unconscious, she informed staff to notify me and I was with her last night."

If Derek hadn't been devastated in the past month, this news sent him into a tornado of emotion. Stepping backwards, she looked around the room, noticing the traces of violence that remained. Glass, blood and dysfunction were in his sights.

"Derek, you really need to sit," JJ said.

"What happened?" he asked. _How could she not tell me?_ he asked himself.

"I spoke to her last night when I went to the hospital. Apparently during an intimate moment with Kevin, he snapped and assaulted her. It got excessively violent. Penelope's injuries are very extensive, however, they do believe she can be sent home today if she is released to appropriate care."

Derek saw red when he realized that Kevin had hurt his Penelope. "Im going to kill him," Derek growled, cracking his knuckles in a moment of excess energy. "How could she not have the staff call me? I am her next of kin!"

"You and I both know why you weren't called, Derek! You have no right to feel betrayed." Hotch stood angrily and had to swallow the urge to rattle his friend. "Penelope is severely injured, both physically and emotionally. She knows what the loss of Emily has done to us all, especially you. Calling me was her last resort, otherwise, she would be going through this alone."

"That's ridiculous!" he growled.

"What's ridiculous is that Kevin has already fled Virginia by now and that Penelope is laying in a hospital bed alone waiting to be released. She doesn't want to be a burden to anyone, and if she hadn't collapsed in the emergency room, none of us would have known of this happening until it was too late." Hotch felt his defenses for Penelope dominate his structure.

While Hotch felt he needed to protect Penelope, Derek felt distraught, angry and hurt. He blamed himself for leaving her side the night that they made love. If he would have stayed, Lynch never would have attacked her. He wondered what she was thinking, what her injuries were like, if she was afraid. "I need to see her," was all he could say to both JJ and Aaron.

"I don't know..." Hotch said.

"Aaron, if there is one thing I know in this life is that Derek cares for Penelope. I know she is hurting and vulnerable, but maybe they both need her to see him right now," JJ said, her opinion waving like a while flag of surrender to ease the tensions. "Aaron, if Penelope has any hope of being released today, her place needs to be spotless. Why doesn't Derek stay with Penelope until she is released and then he can bring her here?"

Hotch could only nodded and walk away before he allowed his anger to say words toward his agent he knew he would regret.

Derek looked at his blonde companion with broken eyes. "Thank you, Jayje," he said with saddened gratitude.

"Derek, regardless of what is happened between you two now, I know that she loves you very much. I believe she is afraid of what you will think when you see her. From what Hotch told me, her injuries are significant."

Derek nodded with a broken heart and looked at JJ once again. "I don't deserve her," he said sadly.

"None of us do," she said quickly. "She's our guardian angel for a reason."

Nodding, Derek walked out the apartment, her go bag in hand and felt as if he was walking with lead legs toward his truck. Images of Penelope's broken body flashed into his mind, the visions piercing his heart as if they were bullets destroying him from the inside out. When he got into the passenger's seat, he gripped the steering wheel tightly and allowed a fearful tear to leave his eye as he realized that he could still lose his Goddess to the hands of death. He could only hope that when she saw him, her eyes were not filled with hatred and disgust.


	6. Chapter 6

"_Im scared, Derek. I don't want to lose who I am just so I can do this job." She looked at him with haunted and frightened eyes. _

"_We are in one of the most beautiful places on earth. I know you see that, don't you?" He asked looking at the gorgeous woman in front of him. _

"_Yeah."_

_Touching her face softly, while wiping away a rebellious tear down her cheek, he spoke with conviction, "Then we have nothing to worry about. It's who you are Baby Girl. You see the beauty in everything and everyone no matter where you go. That part of you is never going to change and I won't let it."_

"_I don't need you to protect me."_

"_Tough. I think I am going to stay on the job a while longer."_

_Chuckling sadly, she looked up at him and asked, "Oh yeah? How much longer?"_

"_Everyday of my life."_

_She smiled and gently punched him in the chest while he pulled her into his arms. "I kind of love you, Derek Morgan."_

_Pressing a kiss upon the crown of her head, he responded, "And I kind of love you, Penelope Garcia." _

Derek parked his truck in the visitor parking lot as he stared up at the hospital. Had it been almost a year ago that he had her in his arms on that Alaska mountain ridge? Had it been that long since he wiped her tears from her eyes and held her tight to let her know safety once again?

He didn't know what to expect when he entered the hospital. Hotch's anger toward him was overbearing. He knew he deserved it, but a consequence of his friend's anger was lack of trust and information. Derek knew he was going to need to be strong for the news he would be discovering.

He walked through the hospital doors and felt his heart pound faster with each step toward the front desk. Looking at the hard working older women, he swallowed and spoke firmly, "Hello. My name is Derek Morgan and I am Penelope Garcia's next of kin."

The graying nurse gave him a sad smile while the other went about her rounds. Looking up at Derek's strong frame, she answered him. "Yes, Ms. Garcia is in ICU room 214. Dr. Johnson put her there due to her resistant behavior." The nurse gave him an uneasy smile. "Doctor Johnson wanted to be notified when you came so he can update you on Ms. Garcia's condition. If you go up to the second floor and wait in the visitor lounge, Dr. Johnson will be with you shortly."

"Thank you, mam," Derek said moving nervously toward the elevator. The last time he was in a visitor's lounge was when he and his team received news of Emily's death. It had been less than two weeks since that tragic day. Now he was back in fear for his Penelope's life.

With every step, Derek felt his fears rise. He looked at patients that were being moved about the ICU floor. Burns, gun shot wounds, stabbings, cancer. So much damage and destruction surrounded him. He could only imagine what happened to Penelope.

When Derek came to the lounge, he realized he was the only one in the room. Taking a seat across the window to observe every person's movements, Derek took a seat in the tacky chairs and rested his head upon his hands. Closing his eyes, he tried to think of Penelope's smile, her vibrance and vitality. He tried to remember their nicknames, their movie nights and their adventures. He let his mind think of their phone calls when he'd be away on cases and their occasional skype conversations when technology allowed it. Derek took a shaky sigh as his heart beat and heavy breathing were his sole comfort in sound.

"Agent Morgan?"

Derek's head shot up as he looked upon the shorter focused man. "Yes?" Derek said standing in attention.

"My name is Doctor Johnson. Agent Hotchner said you would be by. Please, sit back down." Doctor Johnson motioned for the younger man to sit.

"How is she?" Derek asked.

"What has Agent Hotchner told you?" the doctor responded.

"He just told me that Penelope was severely beaten and was admitted last night. She had given his contact information as her immediate contact. I believe she was doing that to protect me and our team."

"Why would you say that?" the doctor asked.

Exhaling, Derek answered him, "We recently suffered a great loss in our team. Our friend, Emily's, funeral was just four days ago. Penelope is the kind of person who hates to cause others worry. She probably didn't want me involved because of everything going on, while Hotch is our team leader and needs to be notified."

"Okay, when you say _team_, what do you mean by that exactly?" Doctor Johnson began writing notes in what appeared to be Penelope's chart.

"We are federal employees for the Federal Bureau of Investigation in the Behavior Analysis Unit. I, as well as Agent Hotchner, are special agents, while Penelope is our technical analyst."

"Does she have many physical demands with her job?" he asked.

"Penelope has been known to go with us on cases since our communications liaison got transferred to the Pentagon. Other than that, her job is mainly research based through computer technologies and records," Derek informed.

"I see." Doctor Johnson finished one of his notes, leaving Derek feeling anxious. "Penelope's travels are going to need to be put off for at least three months. She is in no condition to travel at this time and needs extensive physical and emotional therapy to start coping with her trauma."

Taking a deep breath, Derek prepared for the worst. "Can you inform me of the extent of Penelope's injuries?"

"Certainly." Closing Penelope's file, Doctor Johnson began explaining Penelope's condition. "Her cheek bone was fractured and she needed significant stitches beneath her eyes, however, as I informed Agent Hotchner, I don't believe her face will be scarred. She has four broken ribs and two are dangerously angled toward her lungs. If she doesn't allow herself time to heal, she can risk puncturing her lungs and suffering severe internal bleeding. Her shoulder was dislocated, but now she is wearing a sling to keep the rotator cuff from being too inflamed. It seems that whiskey was poured over her body, which ironically helped heal cuts along her hands, stomach and face. However, the sting will continue to effect her as she moves. Her ankle is sprained, but given her upper body injuries, crutches are impossible and a wheel chair is too excessive. Instead, she is to keep her ankle wrapped 24/7 unless she is bathing. She suffered a significant concussion, however, she has made it past the fearful phase of her observation. One of our nurses informed me that Penelope finally went down for a nap about an hour ago."

Derek could feel his rage light his body on fire while his insides were being torn apart. With every description of Penelope's injuries, Derek felt himself die. He feared for what he would see when he looked at her. Would she be suffering? Would she be fearful?

Doctor Johnson could see that this knowledge was overwhelming the man in front of him. "Im apologize, I don't mean to be pushy, but I need to know of Penelope's post hospital arrangements. From what I have gathered, this is a domestic violence case and that her previous partner has fled from the residence. Do you know if she would have any desire to press charges?"

He clenched his fists at the thought of Kevin Lynch. "Im sure she will," Derek growled. "I have not spoken with her since the incident, Doctor, but I am sure she will want to press charges."

"Well, Agent Morgan," the doctor spoke suddenly nervous around the angered agent, "we have video footage of Ms. Garcia's entrance into the emergency room, including her drop off. I am sure the footage could help your case."

"That would be much appreciated," Derek said. Growing frightened, Derek asked with uncertainty, "May I see her?"

"Yes, Agent Morgan," the doctor was much shorter than Derek but his intelligence and skills fueled his confidence. "She is in room 214. When you enter her room, be sure to close the door for the quiet of other patients."

"Thank you, Doctor," Derek said with a nod.

With wary steps, Derek ended up in front of Penelope's room. He could see her sleeping form through the window. As he entered her room, he was conscious of the fact that he needed to be silent. When he closed the door, Derek took a needed moment of silence to gather his strength to look upon his broken woman.

In ascending formation, he took in her sprained ankle that was resting upon a pillow beneath her blankets. Moving up her body, he saw the gauze and bandages cover bloody wounds upon her arms. He could make out the markings of her bandage wrap around her stomach. Taking in her bruises, Derek looked at her face and he felt his heart break for what seemed to be the millionth time. Her stitches were bold beneath her eye, while bruising and cuts colored her ivory skin an unfavorable blue and black.

Her eyes were clenched tightly as was her jaw as he witnessed her have a nightmare. Her hands clung to her blanket in fear and distress. The sounds of the monitors tracked her heart beat and blood pressure. Through her spout of fear, her heart raced quickly and Derek could only watch in fear. He feared touching her and having her repel from him. He feared touching her and hearing her tears from too much force. He feared touching her and having her cling to him in pain and heartbreak.

Penelope gasped as she woke from her nightmare. Kevin had been beating her once again, but had a gun with him this time. She let loose a bloody scream when Derek rushed through the door and Kevin shot the gun, a bullet marring Derek's chest.

Initially confused by her surroundings, she looked toward the monitors and remembered that she was in the hospital. Looking down at her body, she took in a clearer view of her injures. She was grateful she couldn't see her face. It felt swollen and marred, certainly not beautiful or desirable. After looking down at her bruised and bloody hands, she lifted her gaze to the presence in her room and she gasped at the sight of Derek at the end of her bed. He stood with a combination of emotions controlling his stance and face. Fear, hurt, heartbreak and anger were emotions she could read quickly as he shifted his feet to a firm stance in front of her. "Derek?" she whispered in sad surprise.

"Did you think I wouldn't find out?" Derek asked angrily. He didn't want to be angry, but he was suddenly flooded with broken emotions.

Shutting her eyes, she shifted her gaze toward the moon. "I am going to kill Boss Man," she said sadly.

Wanting to talk with her without anger, Derek changed his tactic, "Why didn't you want me contacted, Penelope?"

Chuckling sadly, she replied, "Why do you think? I thought I would be the last person you would want to see."

"That isn't true," he said sadly.

"Really? That is sure believable," she scoffed. "I mean, a moment in my bed sent you running the moment you thought I was asleep. I really do believe that you would come running if the hospital had called."

Guilt washed over him as her voice was filled with bitterness and heartbreak, two characteristics that are so not those of the woman he loved. "Baby Girl..."

"Save it, Derek," she said, raising her hand to him. "It was a mistake. A mistake you have made very clear you don't want to discuss." Penelope felt a stabbing pain in her chest. She wished she could say it was her injuries, but she knew without a doubt it was her broken heart. "You and I both know that you don't want to be here. Just go home."

_A mistake_. Derek felt his heart shatter at her sharp tone and words. While she tried to have a brave face, he could see the heart break and devastation beneath her brown eyes. "Im not going anywhere," he responded.

"Just go. Hotch is going to come by with my things and once I am released I am going to take it easy for about a week and then be back in the BAU like everyone else. Everything will be back to normal, Derek. You don't need to rescue me this time."

"Well, that is where you are wrong, Penelope Garcia." Derek moved to her side and lifted her go bag. "You see, I have your things. Once Doctor Johnson clears you to leave, I will be moving in and taking my spot back on your couch to take care of you while you are recovering."

"Like hell you will," she said, looking at him angrily. "I can take care of myself!"

"That you cannot, Ms. Garcia," Doctor Johnson said entering the room. "It seems that our feisty patient is back to herself."

"Doctor, I live on my own for a reason. I don't need help." Penelope grew frustrated as both men looked down at her broken form. "I may not look like my Grade A self at the moment, but give me a moment with Avon and boy I will be sharp!"

"Ms. Garcia..."

"Or maybe Miss Maybelline!" Penelope tried to flash a smile, but her recent injuries left her stinging in pain. "Ow!" she moaned, frustrated with her body's rejection of her independence.

"Ms. Garcia, I am going to release you to Agent Morgan's care as long as you follow our medical instructions to a T. You have major injuries, however, with proper care, you should heal just fine. You are to be without work for 8 weeks..."

"8 weeks!" she yelled. However, the exertion to her stomach sent her wailing in pain.

"Hey, hard head! No commentary!" Derek said, giving her a firm stare.

"Thank you, Agent Morgan," Doctor Johnson said firmly. "You will be without work for 8 weeks and then you cannot travel for at least another five weeks."

"Urgh!" she growled in frustration.

"I expect you to check in with your primary physician in the next week for further medical care. Otherwise, you should be able to go home in about 8 hours."

"Why so long?" she asked.

"The pharmacy needs to prepare your immediate medications and you should use up the last amounts of your pain medication in your IV." Looking to Derek, he said, "If you go up the front desk, you can fill out the rest of Ms. Garcia's paper work as well as receive instructions on how to care for Ms. Garcia for the next few days."

"I am here you know! I am not Clooney!" Penelope sighed, frustrated that Doctor Johnson was speaking of her in the third person.

Chuckling, Derek rolled his eyes and responded to the doctor, "I will read it all."

"Very well then." The doctor gave a sad smile to his patient and exited the room, leaving Penelope and Derek behind.

They existed in an awkward silence. Penelope was first to speak as she stared at the man she knew she would always long for. "I should call JJ. Maybe she and Henry can come up for a couple days. Just until I get on my feet."

"Baby Girl, I told you I am taking care of you. I promise you, I am going to take care of your every cut, bruise and scar. You just need to rest."

"Derek, you need to stop," Penelope said, building the walls of distance around her heart.

"Stop what?" he asked.

"You need to stop pretending. Pretending that we are okay, that you can just waltz in and save me when I am this broken. I don't need your lies."

"Lies? What lies?" Derek asked growing frustrated with her.

"You don't need to take care of me out of guilt, Derek Morgan. Our friendship was built on honesty and I don't want this. I don't want you taking care of me because of your guilt from one mistake."

"Penelope, I am not doing this out of guilt and that night wasn't a mistake. Not to me," he said, his voice quieting as he words grew more truthful.

"Actions speak louder than words," she said sharply.

Derek felt like he got hit with a bullet. "Is that what you think?" he asked sadly. Moving closer to her, he tried to make contact with her eyes. "Baby Girl, I don't think you will ever know how sorry I am for leaving that night. I..."

"I don't believe you." Penelope turned her head and closed her eyes. She couldn't hear him say anything about his actions that night. She didn't want his guilt or pity. She wanted his love and his passion. She wanted his heart and she knew that that was never going to happen.

Derek didn't think he could breathe as he watched his Goddess turn from him. Her hurt and betrayal were radiating off her in waves, each wave crashing into him with destruction in their paths. Instead of running from her like she expected, he only pressed a timid kiss upon her head and touched her hand softly. "I am not going anywhere, Penelope Garcia." With that, he left the room to fill out her paperwork while she was left overwhelmed with her broken heart and tears.


	7. Chapter 7

There wasn't much that either could say after their emotional blow out. So much needed to be said, needed to be forgiven, needed to be addressed. However, the hospital ICU was no place to do such altering movements. Instead, Derek sat quietly while Penelope gave into sleep while she had the morphine drip within her IV. He took his time simply watching her as she slept. He needed to study the pain that she was now suffering by the hands of a disgusting slimy bastard. Derek knew that he would need to learn what caused Lynch to snap. He had a feeling that Hotch knew. However, an attribute that he deeply respected about his boss what his ability to keep the secrets of the team within his heart without breaking.

He was reading a magazine when he heard a whimper of mourning escape Penelope's lips. Derek stood up and moved closer to her, watching as her hand constricted against her blanket painfully, her eyes squeezed tight. "Emily," she moaned, rolling her head to the side.

Derek felt his heart stop as that name escaped her lips. In the recent chaos surrounding his Goddess, he had kept his mind off the loss of his friend, his partner. Derek tentatively grabbed hold to her tightly gripped hand and whispered calming words to her. "It's okay, Baby Girl. You're safe."

Tears escaped the sleeping woman's eyes and her body seemed to relax in defeat. "Im sorry, Emily" she whispered, her mind slipping into further unconsciousness.

Derek couldn't control the burning of tears behind his eyes. Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and was surprised to hear a grunt at the entrance of Penelope's room. Looking up, he saw JJ and Hotch in the doorway. JJ looked beyond heartbroken while Hotch seemed tense and protective of the woman in the bed.

Nodding toward the newest guests, Derek released his hold on Penelope and stepped backwards, trying to maintain quiet. When he stepped out of the room, he took one more glance at the woman he loved and felt his heart break all over again.

Derek made his way to the visitor's lounge where JJ and Hotch waited. JJ was pacing the room, her hands shaking with tears teasing her eyelids for release. Hotch remained against the wall, his glare focused and firm. When Derek entered the room, they stood in attention and looked to them with questions in their eyes. "Doctor Johnson is going to clear Penelope to be released as long as he is confident in her living arrangements post hospitalization. I informed him that I would be staying with her to help her with her transition post injury."

"Derek, is that what Penelope wants?" Aaron asked.

"Penelope needs the best care and attention at this time. From what I have gathered, the team still have 2 weeks off to handle the loss of Emily. I can spend that time helping Penelope adjust to her injuries and keep her from hurting herself." Derek stood firm looking at both his friends with conviction and confidence.

"As much as that seems honorable, that may not be in Penelope's best interests," Hotch said trying to look at the situation in a broader aspect.

"Regardless of what has happened between us recently, Penelope Garcia is still my best friend. I would give my life for her. She needs me, and us, more than ever."

"Derek's right," JJ said voicing her opinion for the first time since she saw her best friend. "Despite Penelope's feelings right now, she is feeling hurt, betrayed and abandoned. Penelope is a nurturer by nature. She always referred to her team as her babies and her super heroes. Now that one has fallen, she needs to confront Emily's loss." JJ tried speaking without too much emotion. She has been able to handle the worst of cases. She had seen some of the most disturbing of evils. However, seeing her best friend lying in that hospital bed beating and suffering was something JJ had never prepared herself for, leaving her vulnerable and broken.

"What are we doing about Lynch?" Derek asked, a growl being let loose at the mention of Kevin's name.

"As of now, our team is on leave to deal with Emily's death. We are not authorized to work any cases at this time, including Penelope's. I can call Sam Cooper and have their team investigate. Garcia works as their analyst as well as ours." Hotch was very frustrated with the policies made by the Bureau to keep them from investigating Penelope's case immediately. As an attorney and an administrator, he understood the necessity of the policies, however as a friend, giving the case to anyone else was killing him.

"That's bullshit!" Derek said angrily. "I want to hunt him down."

"We aren't vigilantes, Morgan. We need to let the system handle this," JJ said sympathetically.

"Our system led Emily to her death! Our system isn't letting us find Doyle any faster. Our system isn't letting us find Lynch and tear him apart limb by limb!" Derek could feel his anger radiating off him as if his skin was tainted with gasoline and a lit match was tempting him nearby.

"That's enough," Hotch said standing toe to toe with his agent. "You are not the only one motivated to tear Lynch apart limb by limb. You aren't the only one suffering with the loss of Emily. You aren't the only one disturbed by Penelope's attack. Instead of giving bold statements of vigilante justice, help us find Lynch and keep Penelope safe and in proper medical care."

"Stop it, both of you," JJ said getting between the two men. Looking between them interrupting their fiery stares, she said, "You are both upset and grieving. It's natural. However, this behavior is not acceptable. Penelope needs us now more than ever. Emily's case will be open ended for a long time. Our priority now needs to be with aiding Penelope in this dark time. She is currently in the hospital bed. She needs all of us, including Spence and Dave. Now, Derek," JJ shifted her gaze toward the defeated looking man, "Have you finished up Penelope's check out paperwork?"

"No," he responded.

"Then I suggest you do that. Aaron," she shifted her toward her tense friend, "Have you alerted Spencer or Dave?"

"No," he answered.

"I highly suggest you give them a call and inform them of Penelope's situation. For now, I am going to sit with her and keep her calm until she is released. From there, Derek is going to return her to her apartment and stay with her. We can make a schedule to make sure at least one of us is with her at all times. Is that understood?"

Both men nodded, feeling less confident in their ability to control their current emotional reality.

Patting them softly, she excused herself from the men and made her way to Penelope's room.

Derek and Aaron both watched JJ walk away toward Penelope's room. It wasn't until she entered the corridor that Derek turned his attention to his friend and took a defeated sigh. "Hey, Im sorry man," he said taking a seat upon the closet chair. "I just... I can't wrap my mind around this. Penelope getting hurt is one of my greatest fears and now it is back in our reality."

Aaron recognized the pain and conflict Derek showed. It was genuine and abundant. There was no denying that he was attached to his best friend. However knowledge of what occurred between him and Penelope left Hotch questioning the depth of Derek's devotion. Staring at the man before him, Hotch asked, "Can I be frank?"

Derek lifted his head after wiping his surface exhaustion from his eyes. "Shoot."

"Was Penelope a one night stand to you? Or is she more?" Aaron knew that normally this would be a very inappropriate and out of character question to ask, however he needed to know whether to encourage Penelope to rebuild her relationship with Derek or run.

Derek looked up at his friend with heartbreak within his brown eyes. "I have never loved anyone quite how I love Penelope Garcia, Hotch. The gift she gave me, the blessing of her love, her healing... it was overwhelming when both of us were in an ocean of loss. That is the only way I could describe that night. I will alway regret leaving her. If I hadn't left... If I had stayed... Penelope wouldn't be in that hospital bed."

"You can't speculate..."

"I should have been with her, Hotch. I should have convinced her that I was invested for the long run, that that night wasn't anything but magic and a new beginning, but instead I let my fear and heartbreak guide me away from her arms and now she is in more pain than she has ever suffered." Derek knew this guilt would never leave him. The image of her body so broken and injured would remain tattooed in his memories forever. No amount of confession or forgiveness could relieve him of that scar.

"Derek, she needs us now. She needs to learn to trust you again. She needs to cope with this attack and she needs to learn how to accept Emily's loss. It will be our job to help her transition and keep her from long term injuries." Hotch could feel the control return to his conscious as he began evaluating Penelope situation like any of their cases.

"She doesn't want me with her," he said sadly.

"Well thats tough for her. She will learn to deal," Hotch said, a slight smirk on his face. "You need to fill out the paper work so we can get Princess Garcia home."

"Princess Garcia?" Derek asked, raising an eyebrow in surprise. "I see Baby Girl has gotten to you."

Hotch only smirk and turned to make his phone calls to Spencer and Dave while Derek chuckled sadly and completely Penelope check out documents.

When JJ entered the hospital room, Penelope was staring out the window, tears falling from her eyes as her wounded body shook with sobs. JJ felt her own tears burn her as she stepped closer to her best friend. JJ was careful to lay down beside Penelope, mindful of her injuries and her shaking form. She rubbed her hand up and down her bandaged arm and cooed softly.

Penelope turned to meet her blue eyed beauty's eyes and let loose two rebellious tears. "Im so broken," she moaned.

"I know," JJ said tearfully.

"I keep replaying it in my mind. I can feel Kevin hitting me, throwing me, kicking me. I could feel the burn of the whiskey as he poured it over me. And yet, that isn't what hurts me most."

JJ looked at her broken friend and touched her wounded face softly. "What's hurting you, Pen?" she asked.

"I miss Emily so much," Penelope responded. "And I miss Derek."

"Honey, Derek is right here," JJ said, motioning toward the closed door with her thumb.

"No, Jayje. Derek is here out of guilt and obligation. You and I would be foolish to believe he would be here for any other reason."

JJ was saddened by Penelope's view of her best friend. JJ knew for years that Derek was the man that Penelope lived for. Kevin was a convenient substitute at best. However, this heartbroken Penelope Garcia had no faith in her relationship with the man who would move the earth for her outside her door. "Want to tell me what happened?"

With that opening, Penelope told her the entire truth of what happened between them after Emily's funeral. JJ was focused as she watched Penelope relive what happened between her and Derek. As wounded as she was, as Penelope spoke of how Derek touched her and how she needed to heal him of his pain, the love and passion that lived beneath her eyes was still burning bright. However, when the story took a turn from sexy to abandonment, JJ saw how that fire beneath her best friend's eyes diminished instantly. It was a shocking ending to such a passionate love story. JJ knew of all of Penelope's fears and insecurities that surrounded her heart and mind when she dealt with her complicated relationship with Derek. Derek leaving her that night reinforced every idea that she and Emily had worked so hard to push from her mind. As much as JJ wanted to rattle the agent outside the hospital room, she remembered his heartbroken demeanor when he learned of Penelope's attack and how he has been since then. She knew that Derek had a lot of work to to do regain Penelope's faith in him. Hopefully she and the team could lead him down the right path to heal her shattered heart.


	8. Chapter 8

Derek had been sitting outside Penelope's room while she and JJ talked. As he reviewed the intense paperwork regarding Penelope's post hospitalization care, he was struck with the reality of how quickly he could have lost her again. Reading warnings stating risks of_ potential lung puncture_ and _loss of blood_ were making him shake with fear and nervous energy. He sat up straight when he heard her heartbreaking cries from within the corridor. When he walked into the room, he found her cuddled into JJ's embrace, her face hiding in the crook of the blue eyed woman's neck as her injured body violently shook with desperate sobs. When JJ made eye contact with him, she motioned for him to leave. Her eyes spoke volumes as they were clouded with anger, pain and sadness for her best friend. Derek nodded and returned to his post outside his Penelope's room, her tears ripping him apart.

He didn't even notice Hotch return to sit beside him. Hotch was studying his agent carefully. Derek's body no longer sat with the confidence and strength he had always known him to have. No. This man sat heartbroken and emotionally beaten as the sound of his analyst's tears permeated through their world.

Deciding it would be best to get him away just for a few moments, Hotch placed a firm but comforting hand upon Derek's shoulder and said, "Let's get some coffee."

"I can't..." Derek attempted to protest, but Penelope's cry stopped him short and his head turned toward the door, in false hope that he might be let him.

"You need to get out of here for a while." Hotch knew that they were in for a long difficult road. Between Penelope's suffering and the loss of Emily, they were all broken down. "You will be no help to her exhausted from guilt. Come on, let's grab some coffee."

Derek only nodded and followed his boss hoping to gain some needed strength to take care of the most important woman in his life.

Penelope sighed as she finally calmed from her heart break. Looking up to JJ with guilty eyes, she bit her bottom lip and spoke softly. "Im sorry JJ. I didn't mean to break like that."

"Pen, it happens to all of us. You spend your time trying to make sure we are okay, but you never allow yourself to break when you are hurting. You need to do that for yourself." JJ moved Penelope's hair from her face and studied her closely. With a mother's touch, JJ tried to take her friend's pain, but failed to do so as she wiped the brown eyed woman's tears.

"I wish Emily was with us," Pen said sadly. "I remember when I got shot, she looked so angry but so hurt at the idea of me being hurt. Just a couple weeks ago she thanked me for being a source of goodness and innocence in her life. Do you think she knew then that she would be taken from us?"

Shaking her head slowly, JJ answered her, "I don't think any of us know when exactly we will be taken from those we love. However, she knew that Doyle was a threat that was dangerous. I think she needed to say that to you so she could have peace in her heart that you knew how much she loved and admired you."

"She was the amazing one," Penelope said, a lone tear falling upon her scar.

JJ hugged her firmly, but kept in mind the seriousness of her best friend's injuries. "You are so wonderful, Penelope Garcia. You have no idea how special you are."

There was a knock at the door and Doctor Johnson came through the door. "Ah Ms. Garcia. I see you are having a slumber party?"

His humor was dry at best, but Penelope could still smile at her serious doctor. "Ah yes, Doc. When am I being released from my sterile prison? No offense of course." JJ could only smile at her spunky friend.

"None take, Ms. Garcia. Agent Morgan has filled out all your paperwork. I must say, I am incredibly impressed. He knew all of your medical history. I don't see that with most married couples. You have a great friend, Ms. Garcia."

Penelope felt overwhelming feelings of confusion, sadness and guilt. As much as she wished she could be angry at Derek for what happened between them, she could only blame herself. She was the one who let him into her heart, her body, her soul, knowing that it was only for purposes of comfort and release. She made the mistake of loving him, knowing that he didn't love her the same way. Penelope flashed a wary smile and said to her doctor, "I am very blessed, Doctor Johnson. Thank you."

JJ was still impressed with the capabilities of the human heart. Looking at her best friend, she could still see the feelings of betrayal and sadness upon her. However, more prominent than her hurt was her unconditional love for the man outside her door. She didn't think he could do anything to take her love from him. However, JJ knew this pain would be there for a while. "Doctor, when will Penelope be released?"

"That is up to Ms. Garcia. She can sign off on her release and be taken home by Agent Morgan as long as she promises she will stay away from the thought of work for the next 8 weeks."

Sighing with her head falling back upon her pillow she nodded and said, "What work, Doctor Johnson?"

"That's a better attitude," Doctor Johnson said observing her chart. "Now, my records indicate that Agent Morgan arranged for your follow up appointment with your primary physician. I will be forwarding Doctor Rodriguez your charts."

Surprised, Penelope smiled and said, "Thank you, Doctor."

Penelope and JJ waved at the doctor as he exited the room. JJ sat up and moved beside Penelope, placing a gentle kiss upon her cheek. "I think that's my cue to leave."

"Jayje!" Penelope protested reaching gently for her best friend. "Don't go."

"Pen, you need to get dressed and Derek is going to take you home."

"Jayje. I don't know..."

"Pen, you are never going to move forward and back on the right track with him if you don't let him in. I can tell you with absolute certainty that Derek is here and in it for the long haul. You just need to let him in." JJ rubbed soft circles on her hand attempting to calm her friend down.

"Im afraid," Penelope whispered.

"Oh honey, Kevin won't be there. He is long gone. And I know for a fact that Cooper's team is hunting him down."

"I can still feel him. The kicks, the pulls, the hits. I can't escape it when Im awake and when I sleep it's..." Penelope felt familiar tears burn her eyes. She was shocked that she could still cry after breaking the way she did.

"What honey?" JJ asked.

"In my sleep, Kevin has a gun. The beatings are still brutal, but Derek comes rushing into the apartment when I scream. He is dressed the way he did when we had sex. The dark suit, the diamond cuff links. When I see him look at me, he gets this animalistic rage written upon his face. When he charges, Kevin turns and shoots him. And I can't... I can't save him." Penelope felt so lost each time she woke from her nightmare. She can't escape what happened and just wants to move on.

"Pen, Derek is alive. He is right outside the door. You just need to let him in."

Biting her lip and looking toward the window to release her tears away from JJ's focused gaze, she choked out, "He hurt me so bad, Jayje. More than I ever thought he could."

Knowing that they had shifted the man of focus back to Derek, JJ pressed a timid kiss to her forehead and nodded against her. "I know, sweetheart. But you now need to move forward. What happened passed, and now if you want any chance of saving what you two had, you need to forgive and move on."

"I still love him," Penelope said as if she had lost Derek instead of Emily.

"I know." JJ reached for her purse and handed her the photo that had once been on Penelope's bedside table. "If you need any reassurance of knowing how much we all love and need you, look at this photo. We are your family. A piece might be missing and some of us are more torn than others, but we are still a family. I will come by your apartment with Henry in a couple hours. Okay, Pen?"

Penelope nodded and looked up at her best friend with love in her eyes. "I love you Jennifer Jareau."

"I love you too, Penelope Garcia." With a sad smile, JJ walked out of the hospital room with more purpose than ever to bring her family out of the darkness they were now under.

Derek was stirring his coffee as Hotch returned with a couple sugar packets. Attempting to shift his mind from Penelope, he asked, "What did Reid and Rossi say?"

Hotch stiffened as he thought of his two friends who were now filled with more hurt and anger. "Rossi was very angry. He wanted to rush over here, but when I told him she was being released, he said he would just go over to the apartment. I informed him that Cooper's team was taking the case, and I know that he is going to be calling checking on updates every couple hours until Sam breaks his phone. I told Dave to stay away from Strauss, but he is hurt by Emily's loss and now Penelope's attack."

Nodding, Derek looked up at his friend and asked sadly, "And Reid?"

Exhaling sharply, Aaron continued, "Spencer isn't taking this well. I could tell he has a bad head ache today. He kept spouting statistics of domestic violence and listing abuse hotline numbers. I know that is his way of coping, but I can tell that he is troubled."

"Do you think he would leave the BAU?" he asked.

"Possibly. He has seen so much hurt in his young life. There is only so much that a person can take without being driven over the edge." Hotch looked down at his hand that was still bare. He missed Haley every day.

Before Derek could say anything else, Hotch's phone rang and both men sat up in attention. Seeing it was JJ, Hotch stiffened and answered it firmly, "JJ?"

"Hotch, Doctor Johnson just left. He is releasing Penelope in Derek's care."

"That's good news," Hotch concluded.

"Have you heard from Spence and Dave?" she asked.

"Yes, they are taking it hard."

Sighing sadly, JJ said, "If you can check on Dave, I will pick up Spencer and bring him with me when Henry and I take over a casserole for Pen."

"That would work," Hotch agreed.

"Okay, I'll see you in a couple hours." With that JJ hung up and made her way toward her vehicle.

Hotch closed the phone and looked at Derek's nervous and anticipation filled eyes. Raising a hand to still his anxiousness, Aaron said, "Doctor Johnson cleared Penelope's release."

Breathing out in relief, Derek rubbed his hands together and said, "Thank God. Now, what do we do from here?"

"I am going to get Dave before he kills Strauss while JJ picks up Reid." Hotch said.

"I will take Penelope home," Derek said.

"That would be best."

Suddenly unsure of himself, Derek started saying, "Hotch..."

"Morgan, you are Penelope's best friend. You two have a bond unlike anything I have ever seen. Yes, you have hurt her, but you and I both know you can move passed this. You need to remind her reasons why she should have faith in you, why she should care as much as she does."

"I don't want to lose her," Derek said sadly.

"Then don't."

Derek approached Penelope's corridor with timid steps. When he came toward her window, he stopped as she was dressing. Her sweat pants were on while she was slowly reading for her sport bra. As his eyes travelled her naked back, his mind returned to the moments when he was able to hold her soft skin beneath his finger tips. He could remember flipping them over so she rode him, her heaving breasts beneath his hands, her rapid heart a result of his touch.

Now that same skin was marred with cuts and lashes.

Now that skin was bruised and scared.

His eyes traveled up her back to trace the bruising patterns along her back. With tortured anger and sadness, Derek felt his hands clench at his sides. As much as he wanted to run and kill Lynch for his acts, Penelope would be his priority now, like she should always have been.

He entered her room as she was zipping up her sweatshirt. It was a warm purple zipper hoodie that had bright hearts along the arms that his mom had sent her for her birthday. Penelope turned to him and he watched as her eyes were clouded with caution and nervousness.

Derek stepped toward her, his hand extending slowly to grasp her small hands when she stepped forward and pressed two fingers to his lips to silence him. "Derek, let me speak. I owe you an apology."

Stunned, Derek took a step back and whispered her name. "Baby Girl..."

"I had no right to be angry for you for leaving that night. It was a moment of comfort we both needed after losing our loving raven haired beauty. That night before we entered my apartment door I swore to myself I wouldn't pressure you into wanting something more. It is my fault for allowing my childish desires for love and romance to dominate reality. You are so good to me. I took advantage of our friendship and for that, I am sorry."

Her words were killing Derek from the inside out. Her view was completely backwards and he knew he only had himself to blame. "Pen..."

She hushed him with a hint of a kiss upon his cheek. A lone tear fell from her eyes and landed upon his cheek. "Please don't fight me, Derek. I can't bear it."

Derek felt his heart break as he wiped away her tears from her cheeks and nodded silently. She gave him a sad smile and turned to finish getting ready. As he watched her change, Derek vowed that from this day on he would work to rebuild the heart of his Goddess and remind her of how much he loved her, how much she meant to him. It would take time and pain, but it was worth it for his Penelope to truly smile again.


	9. Chapter 9

As Derek drove Penelope back to her apartment, she could feel her heart race with each passing mile. As they approached the residence, her mind could only return to the memories of her attack. Kevin's evil words were haunting her as her body flinched at thoughts of the kicks and hits.

_Explain? Explain what Penelope? That I have been trying to fight for us, to win your love, and in a moment of intimacy you moan that fucking agent's name! The man who I have never measured up to? The man who goes and fucks woman after woman and leaves you after eye fucking you every day! You moan Special Agent Derek Fucking Morgan's name while you are kissing me and you feel that there is more to explain?_

"Baby Girl? Penelope, we're here." Derek knew that Penelope was apprehensive. He could hear her breath become more shallow with each closer turn. He reached for her hand and pressed a timid kiss to her now clammy digits. She was shaking in fear and memory. It broke Derek's heart to see her get this way.

Penelope turned her head and met the eyes of the man she loved. His dark chocolate eyes were filled with concern for her. She could feel the pain all over her body. She closed her eyes and leaned her head down looking at their joined hands.

_You really think Derek would ever want someone like you? Hell, I could barely look at you!_

Penelope then stiffened and pulled her hand suddenly from Derek's bear like grasp. Holding her hand to her chest protectively, she turned her body from him and looked toward her now frightening front door. "We need to get inside."

Derek was stunned by the shocking changes in Penelope's emotions. Fear was her dominant emotion. As much as he wanted to convince her that he would be there to protect her, he could hear her painful words from her hospital room on a loop in his silence. "Pen..."

"I said we need to get inside," Penelope interrupted firmly.

Nodding, Derek exited the truck and took a sharp intake of cold air. As frustrated as he was, he knew he needed to be the strength for his Goddess to recover. Now would be his time to heal her after she had save him so many times.

Their steps were sending them both back to an assortment of memories. From the first time Derek walked the pathway after Penelope had been shot by Jason Battle Clark to their dozens of movie nights and late night talks. Derek didn't want to think about their afternoon of healing after Emily's death, but as she pulled out her keys, he remembered the way she felt in front of him as he pressed her against the entry door. He remembered asking himself if her hands were always that shaky or if her nervous energy was causing a time delay to entering the apartment.

However, the brush of cool wind shook him from his memories as he heard the quiet whimpers of Garcia's pain. Her bruised hand was holding her body up against the door frame as she took deep breaths to steady her breathing. He could see her knees buckle beneath her and he quickly gathered her wounded body into his arms. "Easy," he whispered.

"I can do this, Derek," Penelope whispered with wounded pride. "I can do this."

"I know," he whispered pressing a kiss to her temple. "You need to let us in now."

Penelope nodded and inserted the key into the door knob. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and closed her eyes before she could see the damage that was inflicted upon her home.

When she opened, she felt tears spring to her eyes as she came across clean floors and fresh flowers. The windows were open letting in kind light into the living room. Her couch had been sewed and all traces of Kevin were removed from her sight. Taking a timid step forward, she looked for traces of blood upon the ground and found none. "Derek?" she asked softly.

"The team has been in here non-stop. Hotch and Jayje didn't want you to come home to heartbreak."

"They could try, Morgan. That's all they could do," Penelope said sadly.

Penelope was overwhelmed with memories with that night. She felt an intense pain in her side and she grabbed for the couch. "Derek, I need to lay down."

Derek moved right to her side and had her lean against his frame. "That's okay. Pen, I need you to trust me and let me carry you."

"No," she said firmly. "I can walk."

"Garcia, quit being resistant."

"Morgan, I have been on my own for years. I don't need anyone carrying me to bed. Is that understood." Penelope continued building the walls of distance around her heart. She was wounded and needed to be alone for her own dignity. She knew of Doctor Johnson's orders of having someone with her at all times. However, this was different. She needed to be alone to heal on her own. No one was going to catch her this time.

Derek stepped back from his strong willed angel, however was close enough to grab her if she stumbled. Slowly, she made her way to her bed and sat upon the end. The same end Derek had sat just days prior. He clenched his teeth as he saw her shaking hands grab to her bountiful blankets to ease her pain. He watched as she slowly scooted herself backward so she could lay upon her blankets. "Can I get you anything?" he asked.

Resting her head against her decorated pillows, she shut her eyes and took a calm breath. "No, right now I am fine."

"Hotch said that he and Dave would bring your prescription when they came by. You don't need another dose of pain medicine for a couple hours. You should get some rest."

Penelope nodded and continued to keep her gaze toward her bedroom window.

Derek timidly took a seat beside her. He had reached toward her bedroom chair and grabbed the purple afghan that rested upon it. Covering her lightly, his gaze made its way down to her enflamed ankle. "Do you want a pillow for your foot?" he asked.

"Im fine, Morgan. Just go home."

"Im sorry to disappoint, but I am not going anywhere," Derek said strongly.

"Don't be here out of guilt, Derek. Just go home." Penelope felt warm tears fall from her eyes as exhaustion began to take over her mind and heart.

"Penelope, get that thought out of your mind right now. I am here because there is no place I would rather be. I love watching you sleep." The minute the words left his mouth, he regretted it. He watched as her body stiffened and her eyelids tightened in pain. However, this pain was not one of physical nature, but rather, going back to memories of their moment together. A moment he destroyed. "Penelope..."

"Derek, I just want to fall asleep." Penelope's voice no longer possessed anger, only sadness and heartbreak.

Nodding, Derek moved away from the bed and whispered, "I'll be on the couch. Just call out for me."

Chuckling sadly at Derek's lack of knowledge of the significance of his statement, Penelope simply tucked into herself and allowed her mind to get lost in dreams she prayed wouldn't haunt her this rest.

Derek watched her sleep from the couch. Though his body was filled with anger and hurt, he was also clouded with confusion. Looking around the neatened apartment, Derek attempted to piece together what happened to his Goddess during her attack. Matching the state of her injuries to places around the apartment, he theorized different ways she could have been marred. Though those thoughts would help him create a profile for a typical case, these thoughts were currently driving him to madness. The idea that his Baby Girl was beaten and abused lit an animal within Derek he never knew existed. He thirsted for Lynch's body and wanted to beat him until he bordered the line of death only to let him survive and beat him again. Growling in frustration, Derek rested his head back against the couch and exhaled to shake off his nervous energy.

When his phone vibrated in his pocket, Derek pulled it out and was surprised to find Reid's name move across the screen. Answering it quietly, Derek moved to a horizontal position upon the couch. "What's going on, Reid?" he asked.

"JJ is here, Morgan. She said that Garcia has been released from the hospital. Is that responsible?" Reid asked.

"If Doctor Johnson agreed to the release, I wasn't about to argue." Derek replied.

"Morgan, if Garcia was to puncture one of her lungs, it isn't necessarily the worst thing that could happen to her. Though less than 10% of the American population lives with one lung and more activities put Garcia at risk if that were to happen to her, she could live a functioning life style."

"Whoa, slow down there, Kid. For now, Penelope has two lungs that are functioning fine. No need to give me an unnecessary heart attack." Derek reached for the bridge upon his nose and pressed against it to release some tension which would brew a new headache. "Garcia just fell asleep. When does JJ plan on bringing you guys by?"

"She said she needs to make some soup and a casserole. Then we will be over."

"Thanks. Hey kid?"

"Yeah?" Reid answered distractedly.

"How are you doing?" Derek asked seriously.

"Well, one of my best friends was killed a couple weeks ago while a woman I view like an older sister has just been beaten by a psycho boyfriend and I have had that same headache for three weeks. I think I am functioning," Reid responded.

Laughing without a hint of humor, Derek sighed and allowed his gaze to return to his Goddess on the purple bed. "I get it, kid. I get it."

"You need sleep too, Morgan," Reid said. "You are no good to Garcia if you are in a zombie like state of mind."

"I hear ya, Pretty Boy. I'll see ya soon." Derek hung up the phone and placed it on the coffee table. Looking at the corner of the table, he noticed a small blood stain upon the corner. Sighing sadly, Derek looked at his sleeping Penelope and asked, "When will you tell me what happened to you, Baby Girl?" With that question floating in the silence of the daunting afternoon, Derek closed his eyes and allowed himself guarded sleep.

"Ugh!" Penelope moaned quietly as her eyes fluttered open. Looking to her clock, she realized that she had been sleeping for about two hours. Her traveling hands felt for her bandages and she knew she needed to re-wrap her binds. Lifting her head up, her gaze fell upon her Chocolate God who was sleeping soundly upon her vivacious couch. Relieved that he was so dead to the world, Penelope slowly made her way off the bed and hobbled toward her bathroom.

Her head was down as she closed the bathroom door. Holding herself up with help from the bathroom sink, Penelope courageously lifted her gaze to allow her eyes to meet the image of her face for the first time since her attack. Gasping at the sight, Penelope's hand reached for the stitches upon her cheekbone. She noticed the variety of colors that covered her ivory skin. Witnessing tears build up within her eyes, her gaze fell to her hands and she bit upon her bottom lip for silence as the colors of purples, greens and blues marred her body.

With shaky hands, she unzipped her jacket and her brave tears fell as she took in the image of her bruised torso. Nothing about her screamed sexy or seductive. No, she was damaged and torn. Lacerations and gashes covered her bruised frame while unflattering beige gauze wrapped her torso. Unhooking their hold, Penelope felt an immediate difference of how her body responded to decreased pressure around her rib cage. She could feel her ribs teasing her inner organs for penetration. That thought spooked her and she felt chaos dominate her senses.

Her cries grew louder and less stable, a reality unknown to her. It wasn't until she heard the firm knocked upon her bathroom door that her cries were silenced.

"Penelope, you need to let me in," Derek yelled through the wooden wall. "Baby Girl, you promised me once that you would never stop talking to me. Honey, I know you are hurt and I know I have hurt you. But how can I help you if you don't talk to me?" Derek felt his heart tear apart piece by piece as he heard her pain filled cries shake him from dead sleep. "I promise you that I will help you and get you back to healing. You just need to let me in. Let me in, Penelope."

After the longest minute of his life, Penelope unlocked the door and Derek timidly let himself in. Closing the door behind him, he turned slowly and took in her half naked appearance. From beneath her purple jacket and beige gauze were definitions of increased bruising and gashes. Her once soft and luscious stomach was now a battle ground of pain and domestic destruction.

His gaze lifted to her face that was now clouded with tears and heart break. Penelope took a shy step toward him and reached her hand toward his shirt. Grabbing him softly, he pulled her into him and held her as she cried. She cried out her pain, betrayal and suffering. Holding onto him tighter, her cries were intense and desperate for closure. "I've got you, Baby Girl. I've got you," Derek kept whispering to her to ease her heart break. As he rocked her slowly in the bathroom, he allowed his own tears to fall upon her blonde hair as they mourned an attack so unjust and savage.


	10. Chapter 10

It had been two weeks since her attack. Penelope was healing slower than her physicians preferred, but knew the body would heal in its own time. When Penelope had kept news of her doctor's appointment from Derek, he was angry with her. She understood that they were rebuilding their trust, but she didn't want to be an unnecessary burden to him.

For the most part, Derek and Penelope had fallen into a comfortable routine with one another. He would come around every day, but wouldn't spend every night with her. Though he protested that idea initially, Penelope argued that he needed time away from her and to get a good night's rest in his own bed.

The team would sleep at her place in shifts. When Hotch would stay with her, he would bring Jack. During their sleep overs, Penelope would spoil the little boy rotten. When JJ would come by, they would pamper one another with nail polishes and girl talk. It was in one of those sleep overs that JJ revealed that she and Aaron had arranged her transfer back to the BAU. That fact sent Penelope over the moon.

When Spencer would come over, it was all about Star Trek. It was one of the only times Penelope was able to truly get her geek on. Filled with theorizing the concepts of physics and space with occasional laughter toward William Shatner, the friends were comfortable with their movie night rituals. Similar to nights with Spencer, it was all about films and conversation when Dave would stay with her. Absorbing her with italian chocolates and the opera while he drank his impressive pinot noir, Penelope learned more of the world of Italy and their profound effect on the arts.

While all those nights gave Penelope an outlet for healing, Derek always remained present. If he wasn't with her, he was texting her. She was relieved the Bureau hadn't yet approved their investment in the latest iPhones which included the Facetime function. Penelope chuckled sadly at the thought, hoping that Derek wasn't being invested in her healing out of guilt, regardless of his claims.

Penelope was moving slowly around her apartment when her eyes caught a glimpse of herself and her raven haired beauty. They had been at their local bar celebrating the super bowl. Penelope had decorated her outfit in blues and whites to support her love for the Colts, while Emily was clad in a Drew Brees' jersey. Penelope was giving her a fat kiss upon her cheek, spreading blue upon her, while Emily threw her head back in surprise and laughter. Penelope wiped away her lonely tears, praying that her Emily was at peace in the world on the other side.

It had been quiet the past few days in her apartment. The team had been called away on a case in Portland. Derek had been furious. The last thing he wanted to do was leave on a case. However, Penelope encouraged him to leave. The world of crime and darkness wasn't going to story simply because she was injured. When Penelope had suggested he return to his apartment to gather his go bag and feed Clooney, she was surprisingly relieved that he had already prepared his things so he could travel.

_They had enjoyed a quieter evening, watching Bourne Identity and keeping her rested. Penelope had fallen asleep in the middle of the movie. The medicines her physicians kept her on had her suffer irregular sleep patterns. However, waking to the warm chest of Special Agent Derek Morgan certainly had its perks. She loved listening to the beating of his heart and feeling his lungs fill and release air. Nuzzling her nose into the pains of his chest, she became more alert when he chuckled softly and pressed a quiet kiss upon her head. "Good nap, Goddess?" he asked._

_With no other option than to sit up slowly, Penelope began separating herself from his hold and she looked at the look of peace and comfort upon his face. Noticing the time, she blushed and turned her face from him. Apologizing, she ran a hand through her hair and bit upon her lower lip. "I didn't mean to fall asleep," she whispered. _

"_That's okay," he responded, sitting up a little straighter. "This wasn't our first viewing of these movies." _

_She nodded and gained the strength she needed to stand. It was interesting for her to feel so broken. Her body was trying to heal slower than what her heart and spirit wanted. As she stood, she felt a wave of dizziness surround her and took him Derek's strength as he immediately stood to help her. _

"_Shhh," he whispered, wanting her to relax into his hold. _

"_I hate this," she said sadly. _

"_Let's get you to bed," he whispered moving her toward the purple haven. _

_Once she was comfortable, he covered her softly and moved her hair from her face. "You need rest," he said softly. _

"_I know," she replied. _

"_I can stay if you need me," he said. _

"_They need you more," she said with a tired smile._

"_Pen..."_

"_Don't make this harder for yourself, Derek. Im a big girl. I'll be fine." She tentatively removed her hand from under the warmth of her comforter and held his softly. "Thank you for caring, Derek. I know it hasn't been easy." _

"_Easy as breathing, Goddess," he said with a satisfied smile. _

_Rolling her eyes, she closed them tightly and muttered, "Jokester," under her breath. _

Penelope chuckled at the memory as she reviewed her text messages from her team. Each had given her daily updates of their safety and well being. She had never felt so helpless. Penelope found comfort in her persona of being their guardian angel. Now that she was practically on house arrest, the case and the team being away was killing her.

She jumped when her phone rang and gave a bright smile when she recognized the name that crossed her phone. "Hello leader of my team of outlaws! Get tired of your temporary analyst already?"

"Garcia?" Sam said seriously.

"That would be me, my unique leader."

"Are you sitting down?"

Penelope could hear his seriousness laced with compassion. "Certainly."

"I have some news about Kevin, and I wanted you to hear it from me first." Cooper hated having to deliver this call. When Hotch had told him what happened, his whole team was emotionally motivated. They closed off any other cases from Strauss so they could find justice for their favorite analyst.

"What is it, Sam?" she asked worriedly.

"We found him."

"Where?" she asked, a little more fear found in her voice.

"A small town in Maine. From what we could tell, he was attempting to flee the country before you could track him, if you decided to. But there is more."

"Yes?"

"He's dead, Penelope."

Penelope gasped, feeling a stabbing pain force itself through her body. "How?" she asked.

"Prophet had spotted him in a cafe. He began to run. Rawson and myself were following him in our suburban. But Lynch decided to run his car off a cliff. We were able to stop our vehicle but his car nose dived. From the degree and speed in which he fell, there was no way he survived."

Wiping away her tears, she nodded to herself and said, "At least it's over," she whispered.

"Is there anything you need?" Sam asked.

"Can you notify Hotch? I think I need to lay down." Penelope felt more fatigue than ever. Now her heart was clouded with sadness and depression.

"Okay, Garcia. Get some rest."

"Thank you, Outlaws," she whispered. She closed her phone and brought it to her chest. As she got to her bed, she rested upon the bed and allowed her tears to come in strong waves. The man that hurt her was dead, but she had never felt so abandoned and alone.

The team had finished the case. Each were suffering in their own way. Reid couldn't move past the schizophrenic similarities of the case. Rossi and Hotch were trying to lead the team without reflecting on their painful memories and longing for Emily. Derek, however, was acting out with fierce anger. His heart was waiting for him in Quantico while his duty was in Portland. He grew frustrated with the case as it questioned his faith and ability to maintain objectivity.

Yet, they were able to solve the case. The man was taken into a mental health facility where his schizophrenia would be treated. Things should have been looking up for the team.

However, none of them found a reason to smile.

As the team gathered their bags from the hotel, he called Garcia and was nervous when it went immediately to voicemail. When the message beeped, Derek began saying, "Hey Baby Girl, your heroes are coming home. I hope you are doing okay. Call when you get this. I... We miss you."

Stepping out of his hotel room, he was surprised to see Hotch waiting for him, a firm look upon his face. "Hotch?"

"Cooper just called," Hotch said.

Derek stiffened and dropped his bag. "And?"

"Lynch is dead. He drove his vehicle off a cliff when Cooper and Rawson went after him."

Derek felt anger radiate through his body instead of comfort. "Shit," he growled. "Bastard took the easy way out."

Hotch said nothing, but kept a look on his face that was one of agreement.

"Does she know?" he asked his team leader.

"He called her first. Cooper said she sounds shaky and exhausted."

Derek nodded and pinched the bridge of his nose. "It's good we are going home now, isn't it?"

Hotch nodded and stepped backward to let him gather his things. "We all need time to cope with our damages and losses."

Derek could only stand there. His feelings of anger and hatred consume him. It took everything in him not to call Cooper and hear the case in his own words. His mind feared looking back to his Penelope. Derek felt he failed the person that mattered most to him. He didn't know how to step forward toward the jet and back to Quantico.


	11. Chapter 11

As the team flew home after their case in Portland, all of them were absorbed with thoughts from home. Between Emily's death and Penelope's attack to the most recent news of Kevin's suicide, the flight home. which usually is a place to detox and relax, was one of tension and frustration. Each of the worried men stared out of their windows, lost in their own sea of regrets and concerns.

When they landed, they all bit back a groan as their phones buzzed in alert. Each had received notice from Chief Strauss stating that they were needed for an immediate meeting in the conference room. Derek had wanted to call Penelope, but he didn't know what they were coming home to. He had the phone ready, his eyes focused on the picture of the two of them as his backdrop. Instead of dialing her familiar number, he shut it closed and slipped the device back in his pocket, shaking his head as he followed his team back to the Bureau in his truck.

Aaron sat in his parked Suburban as he waited for his team to get to the parking garage. He opened his center console and pulled out a picture of him and Jack. He had just hit a home run and Hotch jumped in pride and surprise. The entire team had made it for his game. After the loss of Haley, each of the team members made it a point to be an active part of Jack's life. Hotch had run toward the home plate as he watched his little boy speed toward the plate. When Jack approached the plate, he crossed it while jumping into Aaron's loving arms. Swinging him about, both Hotchner men had bright smiles on their faces that Saturday morning.

Emily had taken the photo. Aaron tried to ignore the longing in his heart as he thought of her kind smile and infinite generosity. Looking at the photo, he wondered who she was now, if she was safe, if she was healing, if she was happy. He doubted the last thought, knowing that she would want nothing more than to be with them.

His focus was shifted as Rossi's headlights made their way into his rear view mirror. As he put away the worn photograph, Hotch thought of his friend and mentor's life. Aaron knew that losing Emily was like losing a daughter. In many ways, the two of them had the most in common. Both were motivated by ambition and love, while neither knew how to express their love to the fullest. They bonded over European luxuries and rising above internal politics. While Dave may have lost a daughter of sorts, he continued to act with professionalism and esteem.

Aaron stepped out of the SUV and moved to the back of his vehicle to wait for his other two team members. Rossi had moved beside him and said, "The Ice Queen summons."

"I miss Garcia too," Aaron said looking toward the approaching vehicles.

They studied both men as they parked their very different cars. Spencer drove a 1989 Honda Civic that was banged up and small. He looked trapped in a box each time he drove the sedan. When they asked why he kept that car, he would rattle off a list of economic and safety features that the little car had. However, this evening the man look exhausted and haunted. Emily was the sister, cousin and hidden crush that kept Spencer grounded in the field. She was his confidant when it came to his medical concerns. The team had noticed the increase of headaches and ailments to their youngest team member, but Emily was his outlet of sanctuary. Penelope, on the other hand, was the fun older sister and cousin who kept him on his toes. With love and consideration, Penelope taught him to trust in others, even in the darkest of realities. Now that she was attacked, no one knew how Reid would handle it. As they looked at their young intellectual, they saw the dark rings beneath his eyes and sadness that loomed there. The last thing he needed was a meeting with Strauss, but both men knew there was no escaping it.

Derek parked his hold truck. The two team leaders looked at the troubled agent as he rested his head against the head rest. Both knew that Derek was dealing with Emily's loss. He was sharper with the team and even sharper with Penelope prior to the attack. He was the one who felt Emily's life leave her. Rossi knew that Derek needed to deal with the fact that it wasn't his fault that she had died. It was Doyle's fault. Derek was angry that she had lied to them about her past as an Interpol Agent. He was made that she would give her body to an Irish arms dealer for the safety of the United States. He was living in a mentality of anger and betrayal, as well as disappointment.

Though Derek's anger was justified, Penelope's attack threw him through a loop. Both Rossi and Hotch felt that they could write a book about the roller coaster love and friendship that existed between the two of them. However, their moment after Emily's funeral created a permanent shift in their relationship. Both Penelope and Derek were devoted to one another. However, Derek leaving solidified buried insecurities within their wounded analyst, while Derek was haunted by regret and love.

Once all four men were joined, they walked toward the conference room. Their heads were held high while they walked in fiercely and determined.

They were all surprised when the Cooper's team was sitting in the conference room along with a very angry looking Strauss. Hotch's team took their normal spots around the table. Aaron moved to stand beside Strauss, but her laser like gaze directed him to the chair.

Once they were all seated, Aaron beside Sam, Erin shut the conference room door and began speaking in anger. "Do you agents know what a direct order is?"

No one dared to reply, knowing this rant would go on for a while.

"You were all instructed not to be involved with Analyst Garcia's case. It would be the responsibility of a different division. You all allowed personal investment to drive you toward inappropriate actions of the Bureau."

Erin focused her gaze toward Aaron and Sam and had to count to three before she could speak in fear of losing her professional platform. "You have pulled this on me before. I was able to commend your teams for work with the San Francisco case because you were successful in catching Bell while assuring safety of the McBrides. But you have all gone too far this time. Analyst Lynch is dead. He was a beneficial asset for the Bureau. He was determined and focused. His loyalties to the Bureau ran so deep that he turned down an opportunity out of the country."

Derek's growl was heard across the room before he slammed his fist down upon the table and stood fast, his arms having his body rock in an angry passion. "That piece of shit beat his girl friend and sent her to the hospital where she is on leave for a minimum of 8 weeks!"

"Agent Morgan, sit down," Erin ordered.

"No, he is right," Aaron said speaking up. "Analyst Lynch was an alcoholic that used excessive violence toward another analyst of the Bureau. Not only is Penelope Garcia an outstanding analyst, but she is used for two very active teams for the Bureau. Kevin Lynch acted in rage and allowed alcohol to control his actions. Instead of confronting Penelope civilly, he beat her and abandoned her at the nearest hospital while fleeing Quantico. We know you ordered us to leave the situation alone, but Penelope treated us all like family. Each of us are a different matter of importance to her. It would have betrayed the foundation of our units as well as ourselves not to continue the investigation."

"With all due respect, Agent Hotchner, your involvement led to the death of a needed analyst. That isn't going to bode well with review boards," Erin commented.

"It was not Agent Hotchner's actions that led to Lynch's death," Sam spoke. "We followed necessary protocol. One of our agents spotted Lynch at a cafe. When he realized he was spotted, Lynch ran and we pursued him. It was a dangerous car chase. We called upon all possible resources to help us trap Lynch. Lynch must have realized he was not going to get out of our chase. He swerved and sent his car off the side of a cliff. There was nothing we could do once we realized he was dead."

All the agents were heated with passion and anger. This case was not ordinary for any of the members. Penelope was their heart, and they would all justify their actions with this case.

Erin took detailed notes in her note pad as she pushed up her glasses. "That may be true, Agent Cooper, but that does not excuse the fact that both teams ignored direct orders from Administration to keep you from involving yourselves in retrieving Lynch. For that, both teams are temporarily suspended while internal reviews are being conducted. You all must under go psychiatric evaluations and be cleared before you can see time in the field."

"That is bull shit, Erin," Dave said shaking his head in anger.

"Save it, Dave. This is mandatory. While Cooper's team has seen less loss than yours, both need to embrace help before you go out in the field. While traveling work is suspended, you are required to go to conferences and lectures to authorize clearances in the Bureau."

Both teams were angry, but knew that this was justified punishment. Cooper's team knew that they would be back in the field within a week if all their psych clearances passed. It was Aaron's team that looked most in jeopardy. Just a year ago, Hotch had lost Haley to Foyet. Then Morgan was attacked by Flynn. After that, Emily's tragic death surrounding Doyle was going to tear into the emotionally battered team. They would learn to move forward from Penelope's attack, but each could understand how senior executives would be apprehensive of clearing the emotionally damaged team.

After Erin gathered her things, she stood and made her way toward the closed door seeking her escape. "You will all be receiving your appointment times to meet with the psych units within the next 48 hours. If you have any questions, go to my office and my secretary will schedule you with highest priority. Have a good evening."

Aaron and Sam watched as she walked through the elevator doors. Once they closed, they turned and saw the exhausted and tormented expressions of their teams. Each looked saddened and defeated. They were lost in frustrated thoughts and feelings.

Mick was first to break the silence as he said, "That didn't go over well."

Prophet chuckled softly while the rest of the agents rolled their eyes.

Spencer asked Cooper, "How did Garcia sound when you informed her of Lynch's death?" All eyes looked at the team leader with saddened curiosity.

"A mixture of relief, defeat and sadness. She sounded nothing like the blonde bomb shell we all know and love."

"She isn't going to handle this suspension well," Rossi commented.

"Do you think she knows?" Spencer asked.

"Certainly. Erin is never good about sensitivity," Dave replied smartly. Hotch gave him a warning look to stand down from his political tirade.

"Have you heard from her?" Sam asked Derek, who was standing in the corner ready to leave when he was granted escape.

"No," Derek replied.

"We can only move forward from here. Erin knows our outstanding records. The senior executives wouldn't eliminate our teams without more grounded reasons." Aaron reasoned.

Everyone nodded as they gathered their things and started exiting the conference room. While Hotch waited for everyone to leave before him, Sam stayed behind. Looking at him with grounded compassion, he said, "For what it is worth, we are sorry about Agent Prentiss. She was an outstanding agent and a wonderful woman. She will be missed."

Hotch nodded in gratitude and shut off the lights. Their team was going to make it passed this. However, in the moment, Hotch couldn't see how.


	12. Chapter 12

Derek had parked his truck in front of Penelope's apartment fifteen minutes ago. He kept staring at the door. He was feeling overwhelmed with the most recent events in his life.

Kevin Lynch was dead. He took the easy way out and killed himself. Derek wanted to blame Cooper's team. He wanted to blame Strauss for sending them to Portland instead of hunting down Lynch. However, he knew that if he would have seen that pudgy glass wearing nerd, Derek would have shot to kill. Revenge prioritized over justice.

Similar feelings ran through his veins when he thought of Doyle. He had escaped. Derek didn't know how to handle that. When his team stormed into that dank dark room, his eyes immediately fell on his partner who had a wooden stake plunged within her torso. Fear, anger and panic motivated his body to move forward and allow his team to search for the Irish villain. He could still see the blankness that clouded her bright brown eyes. _Let me go_ haunted his nightmares every night since the moment she had been found. He had let his partner down by not getting there sooner. Yes, he was violently angry at Doyle, but Derek couldn't help but blame himself.

Derek's attention moved from his thoughts when he noticed movement by Penelope's door. Her door had opened and two young kids, no older than twelve, were leaving the apartment. He recognized them as neighborhood kids who would visit their Dad on the weekends. They were nodding at the words and jumped slightly when she slipped something into their hands. Derek could only assume it was money. He knew he would want to ask what they were doing for her to be so generous.

He waited until she closed the door and made sure she didn't see him waiting in the car. He had so much on his mind, but he didn't want to disturb his time with her. Derek was still disturbed that he couldn't get her to be completely comfortable with him. He craved the touch of her skin and the taste of her lips. More than anything, he wanted to see the spark of life and love that lived in her eyes prior to the moment he betrayed her. He wanted her to believe in him and their love.

Grabbing his go back from the back of the truck, Derek made his way to the front door. Out of habit, he jingled his keys before slipping them into the hole. It was the typical alert for Clooney to know that his master was home. Since Penelope had been attacked, Derek made sure Clooney was with her. She had protested at first, but his dog's heart warming licks and nuzzles melted his Goddess's heart almost instantly.

Before his keys made their way to the hole, Penelope opened the door. Candles were lit around the apartment. On the table was a roasted chicken dinner with potatoes and steamed green beans. Derek's mouth dropped as he took in all the details Penelope put into her apartment. "Baby Girl?"

"Won't you come in, Handsome?" she asked quietly, a faint trace of her former flirtatiousness teased him.

Derek looked at his female companion and fought the rush of blood that moved south. She wore a black dress that capped at the sleeves. The dressed inched in at the lowest part of her breasts and fell down softly the remainder of the length. He could barely make out the gauze wraps that tied her ribs together. He chuckled when he noticed one wrapped foot and ankle and the other in a bejeweled sandal. Her hair was pulled up, an act he knew she had problems with due to her injuries. Her make up was light. Doctors had informed her that it wouldn't be wise for her to cover up her wounds while she was healing. Instead, her skin was natural with black mascara and ruby red lips dominating his vision.

As he stepped into the apartment, she moved behind him and took his leather jacket as he disrobed. "Penelope?"

"I received a phone call today," she said.

Derek could feel his heart pounding in his chest. "And?"

"I was informed that Strauss was suspending our team as well as Coopers until you all passed psych evaluations. I was notified that I couldn't return to my duties in my lair until all of my physicians, including a shrink, cleared me for work. I knew that you would be angry when you returned. So, I decided to order dinner from Rudy's, had the neighbor girls help me set up the apartment, and give you a night off."

"A night off?" he asked. He watched as she explained everything. He was sadly intrigued in the fact that she would barely catch his eyes. She would look about the apartment and express her words, but he knew that fear dominated her eyes.

"Derek, since my attack, you have been here non stop. You give yourself no time to just relax and allow the events of our recently disturbed lives envelope you. Until you do that, you can't move forward." She moved slowly toward the table and grasped onto the back of one for strength to stand. "Derek, I knew you would never leave this apartment, regardless of my request. Instead, I decided to bring relaxation to you. Tonight, you can decide where our conversation go and watch what movies you wish. I will simply be your roughed up companion in this scenario."

Derek smiled sadly as he took a seat at the table. He sat across from her. He could see her nervousness and bouts of pain flash before her face as she moved. He went to ask if she needed any medication when she raised her hand to silence him and said, "I am fine."

They ate in relative silence. The food from Rudy's was always delicious. Throughout dinner, they exchange small words about the case. However, Derek was overwhelmed by her beauty. Even in her darkest hours, she was the most beautiful woman in his life. Concern dominated his thoughts as he noticed the slightest shaking of her hands. "Penelope?" he asked softly.

"Yes, my chocolate warrior," she replied.

"Do you know why our teams are suspended?" he asked.

Her body stiffened. She bit down on her lower lip and fought the urge for tears to approach her eyes. "Yes, Derek," she responded.

"You know that Lynch is dead," he asked.

"Yes." She kept her head down and away from his focused gaze.

"I don't understand a lot of what happened, Penelope."

"Read Cooper's report," she said, attempting to place a quick Band-Aid over the problem at hand.

"That's not what I am talking about."

"Then what are you talking about?" she asked.

"How did Lynch suddenly snap and do this to you? Or was this occurring and I never notice my best friend being beaten?" he asked sadly.

"No, Derek. This attack was the only time Kevin touched me. Yes, he was verbally abusive when he drank, but we were getting that under control. That was until..." Penelope's mind flashed to her attack. She could feel him beating her, kicking her, yelling at her. His words haunted her mind and her appetite was lost.

"Until what, Penelope?"

"When I told you you had the right to decide what we talked about, Kevin Lynch was the last thing that was on my list of possible topics you wanted to venture in. I really thought we were going to talk about new properties, sports and movies," she said attempting to shift the conversation once again.

"Nice try," he said sitting up, leaning over the table to catch her haunted brown eyes. "Tell me what happened Penelope."

She bit down on her lip and attempted to keep her eyes from him. "We had a fight. We have been fighting a lot lately. I was stupid. I caused him to snap. I... I deserved what happened."

"Penelope Garcia," Derek growled rising from the table looking down at his Goddess with a flush of anger. "You did nothing to deserve this. No man has the right to touch or abuse you. You are a smart woman. I know you know this."

"You weren't there, Derek," she said quietly.

"Then explain it to me!"

"Derek, why don't you talk about Emily?" she asked, effectively shifting the conversation from herself and her attack. Penelope almost regretted the survival tactic when she watched the blood drain from his face and him step back from the table.

"Penelope?" he whispered her name in a warning tone.

"Derek, she was one of our best friends. A sister to us. Why don't you talk about her?" she asked.

"Please don't," he asked in a whisper. His self loathing and anger were creeping up on his senses while his fists clenched at his sides.

"Derek," she whispered his name. She made timid steps toward him. Penelope was saddened as she watched his body stiffen as she stepped closer to his warmth. "Derek, Emily's death wasn't your fault. It was Doyle's."

"Stop."

"Derek, you need to listen to me. She left us. She wanted to protect us, but we fought for her. We did what we needed to to save our brown haired beauty."

"We didn't save her," Derek said bitterly.

"Derek, that wasn't our fault. If I know Emily, she was fighting like hell. She probably had the upper hand on Doyle for a good portion of their confrontation. However, something must have happened and he took the cowardly option by staking her."

Derek's jaw clenched as he listened to his Goddess's words. He knew she was right, but couldn't get passed his own faults.

"Derek, it is such a blessing that you were the last face she got to see in this life. You and your love and ferocity. She got to see the passion of her partner and brother as she slipped from our world and into the next." Penelope felt a lone tear fall from her eyes and made no movement to wipe it away.

"If I had..." Derek started.

"What, Derek?" she encouraged him.

"If I had been there sooner, then maybe..."

"Derek, you can't do that to yourself. Emily's loss is something that is going to haunt all of us forever. You can't play the _What If_ game if you ever expect yourself to move forward." Penelope took a timid step closer, so their bodies were almost in perfect contact. She lifted a timid hand to his face and touched him softly. "You need to forgive yourself, even though you did nothing wrong. It's the only way you can move on, Baby."

Derek felt his control slip as he fell into her. He held her as tightly as he could without doing more damage to her body. His body broke into violent sobs as he held her. The loss of Emily was at his feet and he needed to drown in his heart break. He lost a loved one. He couldn't move forward without acknowledging their loss.

Penelope held him for as long as she could. She wished she could take his pain and allow him to be the strong and fierce man she loved. However, Penelope knew that Emily's death had taken its toll on him. Now she needed to help him let go of his sorrow and possibly allow herself to begin mourning for the loss of her sister and confidant.

After what felt like hours, Derek's bitter tears had silenced. Derek lifted his head to catch a glimpse of the sight of his Goddess. Her warm brown eyes were looking at him with compassion. His thumb traced her cheek and cupped her face softly. His gaze dropped to her tempting red lips. He lowered his head and took them gently. Derek's tongue pressed for entrance into her warm sanctuary and he took pleasure in the moans she released as she granted him access. He touched her face reverently as his mouth worshiped hers. Her lips were his miracle as his heart began to heal. For what felt like hours, they stood in the candlelit living room, Derek holding onto Penelope as if she was the only thing that kept him alive.

As their need for oxygen dominated their senses, Derek could feel her hands traveling up his chest and stopping on his firm planes. He was surprised when he felt her pushing him back. Derek was not prepared for what he saw as his eyes opened after one of the most healing kisses of his life.


	13. Chapter 13

"Don't."

Derek opened his eyes at the sound of her broken voice. His heart stopped in his chest as her face was marred by betrayal and heartbreak. The hands that were keeping him from holding her were shaking upon his chest. He could see the tears ready to fall from her eyes and couldn't understand why she needed to be brave. Not after that moment. "Pen..."

"Derek, we can't do this," Penelope said sadly. Penelope was trying to gather every ounce of courage to keep their distance. She could see the confusion in his eyes. As their lips danced in that wonderful moment, she longed for them to make love like they had before. Yet, when her mind returned to that painful day, she felt his body leave her after their moment. She remembered his gaze upon her, one she could only imagine was one of disgust and shame if it meant he left her. She could hear her apartment door close and the sound of his old truck as he drove away from her, breaking her heart all over again.

His heart fell to his stomach. He could read all the despair upon her face and wanted nothing more than to heal her like she has healed him time after time. Derek knew that she was hurting and wondered if it was what she went through physically that is causing her to be withdrawn. "Are you hurt? Do you need medicine?"

Her heart was breaking at his care and concern. He was so blind to what happened and feared what would happen if he knew that he was the cause of her suffering. "Derek, this... us... it won't work."

He was struck dumb as he watched her back away from him. "Baby, you can't be serious." She stared at him with haunted eyes that possessed no hope. "Pen, I..."

"Derek, what happened between us after Emily's funeral was a mistake. I should have never let things escalate the way they did. It damaged us, Sugar, and I don't think we can ever go back."

"It wasn't a mistake," Derek growled meeting her gaze with fire and anger. "It was never a mistake for me, Penelope."

"I don't believe you," she said sadly, preparing herself for his anger.

"Yeah, you've said that before," he said angrily. "Pen, I don't know how to convince you that this is what want."

"Derek, I counsel victims' families. I know the signs and events that occur after one has lost someone out of violence. People need to feel a sense of belonging and comfort after they are surrounded by death. I gave that to you willingly. We were together for the sake of comfort and the human need to feel less alone."

Derek's teeth clenched as he watched her spout out facts like Reid. "It was more than that," he said.

"Don't fool yourself or me," she said sadly turning away from him.

"What was it to you?" he asked at her retreating back. "What did our time mean to you, Penelope?"

Hot tears cascaded down Penelope's face as heartbreak and physical pain dominated her sense. "Everything," she whispered.

Derek's heart broke as he watched her pained form. He stepped closer to her, longing to see her face. "Do you really believe that it meant nothing to me, Penelope?"

She couldn't answer him. Her fear of what her words would be stopped her.

"You can't answer me, can you?" he asked sadly. "Penelope, our time together was filled with passion and healing I never knew existed. It took everything in my power not to cry out your name as your soft hands and sweet lips touched the darkest part of my soul. You saved me, Penelope Garcia. You did."

Penelope tentatively turned to meet the eyes of her former lover. She knew he was trying to save her. That is what Derek did. He wanted to save someone. Yet, she couldn't let him save her if he was lying to himself. "I know that what happened that night was raw and passionate. If I helped you heal after Emily's passing, I am thankful. But, we can't do this again, Derek."

"You're afraid," he challenged her.

"I am," she agreed, "But not for reasons you are thinking, Derek."

"Then explain it to me," he said growing frustrated. "Explain to me why you are afraid, why you are running from us."

"Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to," she warned stepping away from him.

"I am asking," he said taking the long strides toward her. "Explain it to me, Penelope."

"Derek," she cried, turning her head from his gaze.

He reached out and cupped her face in his hands, wiping away her tears. "It's me, Baby Girl. You can tell me..."

After a moment of internal debate, she decided to confess her fear to him. "You'll run." She pressed a kiss to each of his palms and held tight to his strong hands. "If I tell you, you will run, Derek."

"I wouldn't" he said strongly.

"You have."

He knew he deserved that blow, but wasn't expecting it to hurt as much as it did. "You have no idea how much I could go back to our time together and hold you. Remind you of how much you meant to me, what you still mean to me. Baby Girl, you are my everything."

"Why did you leave?" she asked softly. "Did I repulse you that much that you had to leave?"

Derek was shocked by her question. "No, you didn't repulse me, Penelope." She laughed bitterly and turned her head from his gaze in unconvinced by his words. "You don't believe me?" Derek asked.

"Derek, I know what I look like without clothes. It's no wonder you ran."

He couldn't believe this was his confidant and spunky Goddess he was madly in love with. Her insecurities and doubt painted her fearful and that broke his heart. "Penelope, you're wrong," he said firmly. "You are gorgeous, curvy and someone I would love to call mine."

"You don't have to..."

She was cut off by his lips capturing hers in a passionate kiss. His tongue stole entry into her mouth as he held her as tightly as he could without hurting her. He took one of her hands and moved it down to his growing manhood within his jeans. He could feel the shock on her face. He fought not to chuckle at her surprise. "You do this to me," he growled making his way down her jaw line to her neck. He moved her hand in stroking motions to encourage his developing hardness. He hope that would be evidence to his desire for her. Yet, he knew she needed to hear the words as well. His lips found her ear and he continued, "Every time you enter a room, touch me, look at me with your doe brown eyes, I am hard as a rock," His lips latched down on her neck and she moaned in pleasure, holding him close with her bruised arms. "You give me reason, you teach me kindness, you bless me with your love," he said as his lips danced across her breasts. As his mouth traveled up her neck and back to her lips, he kissed her deeply, desperately attempting to convey his love for her in that moment. Resting his forehead gently without disturbing her wounds, he took sharp breaths to calm himself as he stared into her brown eyes. "I will always regret leaving that night. But if you will have me, we can start from here."

Penelope found herself falling. She fought like hell not to feel this way about him after their night together, however, she couldn't escape his love and her love for him. "I am in love with you," she whispered upon his lips. Derek's bright smile caused her to chuckle quietly. She touched his face reverently and pressed a tentative kiss upon his lips. "Please don't run from me again," she asked brokenly. "I couldn't..."

"Never again," he said silencing her with a kiss. "I am yours," he whispered.

They were lying together upon her bed sharing kisses of promise and love. He loved to watch her smile in calm comfort as he held her close. His fingers combed through her blonde locks and he smiled as she began falling asleep upon his chest.

She gripped his shirt tightly and surprised him in their moment. Looking down, her eyes were closed tightly and her breathes were shallow. "Pen..." he asked nervously.

"It's okay, Hot Stuff," she said through the pain. "It's just my body tell me I need to get some medicine."

"I'll get it..."

"No," she said pressing a kiss to his lips. "I need to pee anyway," she said with a tired wink.

"Oh, that's sexy," Derek said humorously.

"Don't you know it," she said with a wink moving slowly out of their warm embrace. He sat up and pressed another wanting kiss upon her lips and she smiled against him. Nuzzling his face softly, she pressed a final kiss to his addictive mouth. "I'll be right back." She moved off him and slowly made her way to the bathroom.

Before entering, she turned and watched the man she loved rest upon her bed. His eyes were half closed and he gave her a tired smile. "I love you, Derek Morgan." she whispered reverently.

He winked at her and rested his head against her soft pillows. "And I love you, Penelope Garcia." After she escaped into the bathroom, Derek smiled and found himself more relaxed than ever as he waited for his Goddess to return.

After finishing her lady business, Penelope came to face herself in the mirror and was shocked at what she saw. The wounds that she was very much aware of were still there. However, she looked white as a sheet. A sudden wave of pain burst from within her chest and she gripped her sink tightly. As she attempted to ride out the pain, her urge to cough dominated her physical desires. Her eyes widened as she opened her eyes and she saw blood cover her closed fist. Looking up at the mirror into her reflection, there were patterns of spattered blood upon the glass and trickles of blood escaping her mouth. She wanted to cry out Derek's name, but no words would escape her, only blood. Her familiar tendency to faint at the vision of blood consumed her she felt herself slip into darkness.

Derek sat up in alert as he heard items fall from within the bathroom. "Baby Girl?" he cried out. A loud thump encouraged his fears as he sat up from the bed and moved toward the bathroom door. When he got there, he knocked and called out her name. When she didn't answer, he concern grew and his hand made its way to the doorknob. Finding it unlocked, he opened it. Derek could feel the blood drain from his face as his eyes took in the image that greeted him as he opened the door. He saw the scattered beauty products upon her sink and the floor. He first caught sight of the blood patterns upon the mirror. His heart sank as the image of his Goddess crumpled on the floor came into his sight. "No," he cried out pushing his way through the door. He leaned down and gathered her into his arms, touching the warm path of blood that escaped her mouth. "Baby, baby you need to wake up for me," he said, his control bordering the line of panic with each passing second. "Please wake up."

"D?" she moaned in pain.

"Shhh," he silenced her, pressing a kiss to her hair.

"D, something's wrong," she said squeezing his thigh in pain.

"Don't talk, Penelope," he ordered gathering her in his arms. "Im going to save you," he said firmly as he moved with purpose to his old truck.


	14. Chapter 14

Derek paced the waiting room like a mad man. He couldn't shake the images of Penelope out of his mind. Once he got her to his truck, he drove faster than he ever had, breaking laws left and right. She had been slipping in and out of consciousness through the drive, and more blood would escape her soft lips.

He could still hear her soft voice from beside him in the truck.

"_Derek." _

"_Don't talk baby," he said as he swerved in and out of traffic. _

"_Derek. I need..." Penelope moved to grip his arm or thigh, but found herself too weak to do so. _

"_Baby Girl, you will get help as soon as we get to the hospital." _

"_No, that's not..." Penelope coughed and caught the blood that escaped her. "I want you to know something." _

_Derek couldn't hear this. He didn't want to hear her last words. Her final goodbye. "Baby, don't you do this," he said looking briefly at her now pale form. _

_Penelope couldn't stand the heartbreak beneath her lover's eyes. He looked like a tragic combination of heartbroken and determined. "It's always been you," she said with a sad smile. "It's always been you." _

"Mr. Morgan?"

Derek's head shot up as he escaped his memory and he moved quickly toward the doctor. The doctor had blood on his scrubs which left Derek feeling uneasy. "How is she?"

"We have her stable. From what we could tell, one of the ribs had punctured the right lung, causing the sudden expelling of blood. This could have happened for a variety of reasons. Our next move is to take her into surgery and see if we can repair the lung. If we can't we will remove it."

"She can live with one lung?" Derek asked, surprised and saddened.

"It does happen. But I won't lie to you, it is risky."

"Can she receive a donation? Be on some kind of list?"

"The type of injuries Ms. Garcia don't qualify her to be on a donation list. Those lists are mainly for patients who have intense diseases or are bordering death."

"I found her unconscious on our bathroom floor. She is coughing up blood and slipping in and out of consciousness. I believe that this is serious enough for an organ donation," Derek said sharply.

Instead of indulging Derek's outburst, Doctor Johnson continued his explanation of Penelope's pending condition, stating, "If we do extract the lung, she will move around slower, reduce her exercise regime dramatically and learn to function relying on one lung. She can sustain a successful life with one lung, but she will be limited."

Derek nodded taking in the information piece by piece. "Is there a chance you can repair the lung?"

"We won't know until we take her into surgery."

"And when will that be?"

"As soon as you give as the okay." Doctor Johnson replied. "Penelope has fallen under unconsciousness. We need your permission to continue with surgery since you are her next of kin."

"Do whatever you need to do to save her," Derek said with all seriousness.

The doctor began walking away when Derek called out to him. The older man took in the ragged appearance of the agent and couldn't help but pity him.

"Can I see her?"

"For a few moments. She is going to be under anestesia, so she won't be responsive. But I will let you see her."

Derek nodded in gratitude and followed the doctor diligently. When Penelope came into his sight, his took in a sharp breath. Her body was prepped for surgery. No longer was she breathing on her own, but with the assistance of a breathing tube. The blood that had been dripping from her lips was no longer present. She looked so pale in comparison to her blue hospital gown. Her long blonde hair was trapped in the confines of the surgical cap. She appeared so fragile and lifeless, making his heart ache in fear.

"Hi Baby," he whispered coming toward her. The sound of her heart beating was all he heard in reply. No witty response. No comforting smile. Just her breathing.

"You keep scaring me, you know that?" He moved beside her and touched her hand softly. He was stunned how cold it was. It reminded him of how close to the border of death she stood. It tore at him piece by piece. "You're so beautiful," he whispered, hoping she could hear him.

Derek glanced at the clock and knew she needed surgery quickly. Pressing a delicate kiss upon her forehead, he allowed his fear filled tears to fall. "You need to come back to me, Penelope. It has always been you." He shook his head as thoughts of her not surviving plagued him. Kissing her one more time, he whispered, "I love you," against her, praying she heard him before she was fixed.

_Penelope was in a forest, much like where the team had been when they traveled to Alaska. She could smell the vibrant earth which surrounded her with enormous trees and she could hear the life surrounding her. Opening her eyes, she looked upon a water fall. Its power and majestic qualities took her breath away. Pressing a hand to her chest, Penelope let out a gasp as she looked at her appearance. _

_In a gown of white silk and diamonds, Penelope stood in a sleeveless dress. In a dress made for a princess, Penelope found that it accentuated every curve upon her body. Her skin glowed with energy and life. Her feet were bare, and her finger and toe nails were painted with a light glittered finished. Touching her face, she was comforted to find no cuts or bruises. Her hands traveled down her body and she smiled when she found no gauze wrapping her midsection or a wrap surrounding her foot. She was healthy and vibrant. _

_Her curiosity peaked as she heard a woman's voice from the waterfall. Making her way through the trees and bushes, she could detect the presence of two people. A woman's singing voice and the silloutte of a man. Stepping behind the falls, she was shocked to who she found._

_Standing before her were her parents. Looking more passionate since the night of their death, they shared a smile with one another before looking back at their daughter. Her father was dressed in a pair of jeans and a blue dress shirt. It wasn't similar to his style before his death, but she knew him instantly from his smile. _

_Her mother wore a green gown that was covered in flowers. Her hair was falling down around her shoulders and she possessed a smile that one could only define as serene. Penelope hadn't realized that she looked so much like her mother until this moment. _

_Penelope didn't stop her tears as she cautiously stepped toward these figures. She didn't believe they were real. It seemed too much to believe. _

"_Hello, Penelope," her father spoke. _

"_Daddy?" she asked in disbelief. _

_He only nodded and looked toward his wife. She said softly, "Hello, my princess." _

_Penelope timidly stepped closer and made her way toward the woman's extended arms. Her heart raced as the woman's hand grew closer. Penelope fell weak to the power of the moment and collapsed into her arms, crying in relief and longing. Far too long did Penelope go without the touch of her parents, and now they were before her. _

"_Hush now," her father said in a calm voice. "Everything is okay, Penelope." _

_Sniffling, Penelope lifted her head and kept studying her parents. The same looks of love and compassion consumed them. "How is this possible?" she asked. _

_Grasping her daughter's hand softly, the woman spoke, "I think you know, honey." _

_Penelope bit down on her lower lip and allowed reality to sink in. "Am I dead?" she asked. _

"_You haven't crossed over yet," her father answered. _

_Penelope opened her eyes and touched both of their faces. She couldn't believe that they were standing before her. "I have missed you so much." _

"_We have always been with you," her mother said. _

"_We are so proud of you," her father spoke with quieted passion. _

_Penelope smiled sadly as she shook in relief. "Things are so different now."_

"_We know," her mother said. _

"_So much has happened." _

"_We have seen," her father said with a smile, motioning toward the falls. _

_Penelope looked toward the water and gasped at what she saw. Before her were memories of her life in the living. From her earliest years to life with her BAU family, she was overwhelmed by what appeared before her. _

_She watched as she watched Jack's soccer games and Henry's first steps projected upon the water. Sounds of her team's laughter filtered through the cave. She saw her rebellious teenage years and the sad reality of her strained relationships with her brothers. _

_Penelope was stunned as she watched some of her most painful memories flash before the water. She watched as she was shot by Jason Battle Clark. She watched them bury Emily beneath the ground, her placing a red rose upon her grave and Derek clutching her hand in comfort. She watched as Kevin beat her and tortured her that fated evening. Penelope couldn't stop the tears that came to her eyes._

"_Never again do you have to experience that pain, sweetheart," her father spoke protectively. _

"_You have lived an eventful life my beautiful girl. You can come with us now," her mother said placing a comforting hand upon her shoulder. _

_Penelope took her hand and squeezed it softly. It reminded her of many moments with her mother from before. _

_However, her breath caught as she glanced upon the waterfall again. Flashes of moments with Derek overwhelmed her sights. From the first time they met when he called her Gomez, to him whispering he loved her in her apartment after she was shot. Penelope took in their movie nights and long drives down the eastern coast. She watched herself wipe her own tears after fearing for the safety of her Noir Hero. She watched as he held her in Alaska, pressing kisses upon the crown of her head. Penelope watched as they took comfort from one another the day they buried their Emily. She took the time to look at his face and witnessed the love that lived within his onyx eyes. She watched as his hands touched her reverently as they rolled upon her bed, Penelope allowing him within her body. She studied the strength in his arms and he rocked them toward completion and healing, her body shaking with passion and desire. Her focused shifted to him kissing her in her living room, the way his hands cradled her face in love and adoration. She witnessed their fight and him convincing her that he loved her. She watched as he kissed her softly. However, her heart stopped as she watched him find her upon the bathroom floor. His panic and fear were evident upon his face. She watched him drive her to the hospital. He looked lost and petrified at the thought of losing her. Penelope bit down upon her lip as these memories flashed before her, her senses overwhelmed. _

_Penelope turned from the falls and glanced at her parents. They appeared to be at peace, in an eternal sense of calm and fulfillment. "Im not ready," she said sadly. _

"_You can come with us now," her father said with a smile. _

"_I can't," she said tearfully. _

_Her mother stepped before her and gave her the same smile, however, her eyes seemed more resigned. "I know," she whispered. She leaned forward and pressed a maternal kiss upon Penelope's lips. "You love him," she stated. _

"_I do," Penelope said with a tearful smile. "I love him with everything in me." _

"_Then you need to return to him." _

"_Will I ever see you again?" she asked fearfully. She didn't want this to be her only opportunity to be with her parents. _

"_You will," her father said stepping beside her mother. "When you are ready." _

"_We are always with you," her mother said placing a hand upon Penelope's heart. "Always." _

_Penelope held them close, each with a deep hug. Penelope wanted to memorize the way they felt against her body, their smells and their voices. She wanted to remember every detail of this forest. _

_When their hug ceased, she found that her parents seemed to glow brighter. However she looked down upon her body and found old wounds returning to her. "What do I do?" she cried out. _

"_Walk through the falls and return to him," her mother replied. _

"_I'll fall!" Penelope yelled in disbelief. _

"_He will catch you," her father said with a smile. _

_Penelope shook her head and found herself with her back to the falls. She could feel her body transforming back to its prior form. "I love you," she said with one more look at her loved ones. _

_They nodded toward her, her father giving a loving wave while her mother blew her a kiss. _

_Penelope sighed as she turned her back to them to face the falls. Before her was an image of Derek by her beside, his form exhausted and worried. He clung to her hand tightly and pressed his lips against it. Penelope extended her arms outward and took one final look at her life in the forest. Exhaling, she closed her eyes and took the leap off the waterfall, knowing Derek would be waiting for her as she landed. _


	15. Chapter 15

Penelope expected to feel water. She even prepared herself to feel rocks. The images in her mind were hazy. She could remember seeing her parents and being in a forest. She inhaled to breath in the refreshing mountain air, however, she was disappointed to find stale scents that resembled pine sol and bleach.

However she found herself laying in a hospital bed. She could feel Derek beside her, his hand rubbing slow circles upon it, his lips taking their time to press against her hand. She felt fatigued and worn out. She went to exhale but opened her eyes when she realized that she couldn't. There was a tube down her throat that was allowing her to breathe. She felt her body grow ridged as her eyes adjusted to the brightness in the room.

"She's awake!" Derek exclaimed, removing himself from her side to alert the nurses. "She's awake!"

Her body was rigid and she could only rely on her nose for conscious breathing activity. Her heart began to race and she gripped to her bed sheets in fear.

"It's okay, Baby Girl," Derek said moving back to her side as he heard her heart race increase from the indications of the heart monitor. "You're going to be okay."

Doctor Johnson and some nurses moved Derek so they could remove her breathing tube. As they worked on her, Penelope began evaluating her body mentally. She moved her fingers, moved her toes, counted her heart beats as they worked on her. However, as she took a deep breath, she found she felt incomplete. Her eyes moved to look for Derek for silent answers. Penelope was relieved to see him smile, however, it didn't answer her questions within her mind.

As they released the tube, Penelope felt a sharp pain and the new inhalation of air hurt her chest. "Calm down, Ms. Garcia," she heard Doctor Johnson say as she controlled her breathing. Derek soon moved beside her and grabbed her hand tightly into his.

"Welcome back," her doctor said, looking back to her chart.

Penelope couldn't speak. Her throat burned and her eyes began to water. She turned to Derek for help and he began looking to the medical staff for answers. "What's wrong?"

"Ms. Garcia, you have made it through quite an ordeal," Doctor Johnson said.

"What happened?" she asked with a scratchy voice.

"What do you last remember?" Derek asked.

"We were arguing, and from there I don't remember." Penelope looked up at Derek with sad eyes.

Derek felt his heart stop. She didn't look like she knew anything that they went through. He finally got her to a point where they admitted their love for one another. Instead of panicking, Derek continued to rub her hand softly. "That was last night," he said looking at Doctor Johnson for intervention.

"Penelope, it seems that your third and ninth ribs punctured your right lung. Unfortunately, due to the severity of the punctures, we were unable to save your lung."

Penelope's eyes widened and she understood her feelings of emptiness and loss.

"It's okay," Derek murmured, kissing her hand softly.

"Am I dying?" she asked, unsure of what living with one lung actually means.

Doctor Johnson revealed a tight smile and replied, "No, Ms. Garcia. You won't be dying today."

Penelope breathed a sigh of relief and Derek let loose a tired chuckled.

"What do I do now?" Penelope asked slowly.

"You body is going to adjust to existing with one lung. I recommend you start physical therapy so your body can adjust to the changes within your organs. Unfortunately, due to your condition, some of your physical activities will be reduced. You will always need to be cautious you are entering rising altitudes."

Derek didn't want to look down at his Baby Girl and see the pain in her eyes. Instead, he remained focused and determined when questioning her doctor. "I know you informed me that Penelope didn't qualify for a lung transplant when she was first entered into surgery, however, can she be put on a list in case an available lung is accessible?"

"That is always a choice you can make. However, I must warn you. Organ donation is a very competitive enterprise. Depending on your circumstances, it might take years before an organ can be available."

Penelope took a quiet breath, not wanting to reveal her inner conflict. "When can I go home?" she asked quietly.

"We want to keep you here for observation for at least four days. That way we can see how your body is responding to the missing lung. Also, we can check all of your other injuries and see how they are healing."

Penelope sighed and rested her head sadly against the pillow.

"Thank you Doctor," Derek said with a sad smile.

"I will come in to check on you in a couple hours," Doctor Johnson said leaving the room.

Once he left, Derek turned toward Penelope and pressed a kiss to her forehead. He couldn't run from the tears that burned his eyes and fell upon her forehead. "I am so grateful you are okay," he murmured against her skin.

"Shh," she said, rubbing his forearms slowly, her nails scratching him soothingly. "It's okay," she whispered.

"Don't talk too much," he said moving himself so he could stare into her eyes.

Penelope could see the love and fear that swam within his onyx eyes. His scruff had been defined along his face in patches and she lifted her hand to touch his face. As she stared into his eyes, she could see how much he loved her, how fearful he was of her condition. "Derek?" she asked softly, rubbing her thumb against his cheek.

He leaned against her touch and pressed a kiss to her palm. "I know you don't remember, but I need to say this," he said with a painful voice.

She continued to stare up into his eyes and gave him silent permission to continue.

"Im in love with you, Penelope Garcia. And you keep scaring me," he said with a sad chuckle. Derek took a seat beside her upon her bed, careful not to hurt her more. "Last night, after we argued, we finally admitted that we loved each other. After years of denial and pain, we were finally going to make it work out between us. You had needed to use the bathroom and I let you go alone. The next thing I heard was a thud and I found you on the bathroom floor bleeding."

"Oh, Derek," she said, grabbing his hands tightly.

He took a breath and returned his gaze to her eyes. "When I was told you were going into surgery, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move passed the fact that I was almost losing you."

"I'm here," she reassured, holding his hands tightly. "I am here with you."

"I don't want us to take things slow. I want you. I want us. And I don't care if it seem strange that we are rushing, but I want to be able to look at you every time I wake up in our bed."

Penelope was stunned by his confession. She had imagined this moment hundreds of times in her deepest fantasies. However, as he sat before her, scared and frightened, her heart couldn't help but break for her Noir Hero. "I love you," she said with a smile.

He opened his mouth to reply, but she lifted her hand to silence him. "I have always loved you. And I am more than happy to start a life with you."

"But," Derek said, lowering his eyes to shield himself from rejection.

"No buts," she replied, surprising him. "I am very happy to be exclusively yours. I have wanted you for years, Derek Morgan. And I can't wait to be yours."

Derek sighed in relief and pressed a kiss to her lips. Penelope was eager to deepen their contact, however, her lung constricted in pain and she felt herself growing light headed.

"Easy," he said with a smile. "Easy, baby."

"I hate this one lung thing," she said in a huff.

"We'll get used to it," Derek said with a comforting smile.

"We?" she asked.

Derek leaned down and pressed another kiss to her lips. "Yes, we."

She could feel her eyes growing heavy. "Derek," she mumbled.

"Shhh," he whispered pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Just get some rest."

"But I want to see you," she whined.

Derek laughed and pressed a kiss to her lips. "I will be here when you wake up," he whispered against her lips.

She opened her brown doe eyes and looked up at him with question. "Promise?" she whispered.

"I promise," he said with a smile.

She smiled to herself and felt her body start to give into rest. "That's right," she said.

"What's right, baby?" he asked.

Taking a breath and resting her head against his palm, she whispered, "You will be here to catch me."


	16. Chapter 16

**18 MONTHS LATER**

Derek took a sigh of relief as he drove up to his home. The team had been out on a long case. For three weeks, they worked to solve a series of brutal rape homicides on the central coast of California. Each case got more personal for the unsub. The team grew frustrated until Reid discovered a connection between the victims. They had all been performers. By triangulating their dump sites, the team was able to stop the eighth homicide from occurring.

At the stop light, Derek gripped the wheel tightly to release tension from his hands. He gave a tired smile as his gaze fell upon his ring upon his left hand. He had been married for just over a year now. His proposal had been fun to coordinate. Penelope had been working hard to gain the strength to power walk a mile. As she approached her last lap, Derek was waiting at the finish line on one knee with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. He smiled as Penelope held her hand to her chest in surprise. She seemed to skip toward him, which was against her training exercises, but he didn't stop her, nor did her therapist. He remembered how her flushed cheeks deepened in redness when he removed the engagement ring from his pocket. Her sweet brown eyes had filled with tears as he revealed the diamond before her. The second he asked the most important question of his life, she agreed whole heartedly. He had never felt so complete.

A honk from the car behind him removed him from his memory as he continued his drive home. Once he parked in the drive, he smiled as he found Clooney waiting for him in the garage. Derek fed his furry companion before entering the house.

He didn't see her right away. He heard the bath water running. Derek raised his eyebrow in surprise. He wasn't sure what his Baby Girl had planned for him, but he was about to find out.

Before he made his way to their bedroom, he was stopped when he noticed a letter upon the coffee table from the hospital. It was marked as an overnight male delivery. He envelope was stained with tears and smudges. Derek took a timid step forward, reaching for the envelope with shaky hands. It was addressed to Penelope Morgan, a name change he was proud to witness. However, his fears from her beating consumed him as he removed the paper. Derek exhaled as he began to read the contents of the letter which stated:

_... we are pleased to inform you that we have found a potential lung for you, Ms. Garcia. If you are interested in learning details of the surgical process, please contact Doctor Johnson as soon as possible... _

Derek felt as if the floor beneath him collapsed. Life with one lung had given Penelope plenty of obstacles. She hated her limitations. Activities that would take her a matter of minutes took twice as long as her body tried to heal itself. He had held her as she cried in frustration and anguish many nights. However, they seemed to move toward acceptance and progress.

Yet, one issue continued to break Penelope's heart. Penelope's condition made her an unsafe candidate to bear children. Due to lack of oxygen getting to the child, the likelihood of miscarriage was quite great. Penelope's heart had been broken when she discovered that reality. Though doctors informed the couple that it wasn't impossible for them to conceive and deliver the baby to full term, her body's condition would make any pregnancy high risk.

Derek sat upon the couch and couldn't escape his thoughts. His heart was torn apart by equal levels of selfishness. On one hand he wanted nothing more than to remind Penelope that he was fine with the way thing were. They were adjusting to her new life style and she was still his Goddess. With one look, she made his heart swarm with pride and desire. Nightmares continued to plague him as his unconscious mind returned to her beaten state. Nothing terrified Derek more than losing her.

However, his equal half of selfishness longed for her to accept the lung. Through therapy and treatment, they would work toward a life that was more active and, hopefully, full of young ones. His dreams would be filled with her pregnant form, her stomach swollen with his child. Derek would grow excited with the thought of impregnating his curvy wife.

Derek's thoughts were once again shaken as he heard the bath water stop flowing. He stood carefully and placed the letter back upon the table. When he entered their bedroom, he heard low music playing from their iPod player. Candlelight greeted him as he removed his leather jacket and placed it upon the bed.

When he entered the bathroom, his heart stopped from the image of perfection that greeted him. Candlelight surrounded the bathroom. His gaze followed the lights until his eyes laid upon his wanting Goddess. Her hair was lifted into a bun upon her head with fallen curls upon her cheeks. Her eyes possessed a smoky appearance while her lips were covered with his favorite raspberry chap stick. The fragrance of the water consumed him as bubbles and rose petals surrounded her. She rubbed her neck with her left hand, flashing the diamond ring she would be eternally proud of. Derek flashed her a lust filled smile and leaned against the wall, staring down at his temptress.

"Welcome home, husband," she said with a smile.

"This is a very good welcome indeed," he said with a smile.

Penelope flashed him a smile and moved slowly toward him. Her seductive moves intoxicated him. "I missed you," she said biting down on her lower lip.

Derek looked around her tub and rose an eye brow to one of their vibrating toys that laid beside the bath tub. "I see that," he replied with a smirk.

"Oh, that is for us," she informed, coating her arms with water. "Won't you join me?"

The image of her longing for him made him hard. "How about a tease?" he said with a wicked grin.

"A tease?" she questioned.

"If I undress, you need to get wet for me," he said with a smirk.

"I am already," she said with a moan, her head falling back against the tub.

"You and I both know what I mean," Derek said with a chuckle.

"Fine," she agreed with a smirk, "But with one condition." He raised an eyebrow toward her and she exhaled slowly to tease him. "I want to come with you inside me. It's been too long."

"You can do that more than once, Goddess," Derek said with a satisfied grin upon his lips.

"But I want you more," she said with an unwavering smile. "And you don't want me to lose interest... do you?" Penelope lifted her arms which caused a portion of her bountiful breasts to lift from the water. Her nipples peaked in desire and interest, causing Derek to salivate in need and hunger. "What do you say, Agent Morgan?" Penelope questioned.

Derek moved his gaze toward her playful eyes and began removing his clothes. With each amount of skin that was revealed to her, Penelope grew wetter in want. As he removed his jeans and boxer briefs, Penelope let loose a breathless sound as his erect cock greeted her. He stood firm in attention, making Penelope salivate with want. She began to move forward in an attempt to taste him, however, Derek raised a hand to halt her movements. He motioned toward the small vibrator and indicated that he was ready to watch her. She raised an eyebrow in surprise but he only smirked and nodded for more.

When Penelope grabbed the small black instrument, she turned the base to begin it's pulsating setting. Her clit throbbed as the sound caused a memory of desire and completion to fulfill her.

"Do it," Derek growled, his onyx eyes clouded with domination and desire.

Penelope slipped the device into the water and it eagerly greeted her swollen bud. She gasped as she leaned her head back against the tub. The sensations caused her body to shake and buck toward the vibrations. With her eyes closed, she took the time to allow her hearing to dominate her senses. She listened as Derek's hand greeted his throbbing cock and she grew wet as his pleasure filled grunts echoed through the room. As her wrist moved in response to her movements, she caused the setting of the device to increase, resulting in a more electric sensation to consume her. "Ugh," she moaned as her hips began to buck furiously. "Derek," she moaned, opening her eyes slowly.

He looked like a man who was thirsting beside an ice cold lake. His body glistened in the dim light. The bead of precum now burst and covered his shaft in throbbing desire. "Baby," he groaned.

"I need you," she moaned. "I always need you."

Derek didn't need much encouragement to enter the steaming tub. He took a seat beside her and thrust her form over his waist, her soft thighs on either side of him. She removed the vibrating assistant from her pulsating core, turning it off and tossing it toward the sink. She stole his lips in an eager kiss, one filled with desire and longing. His grip on her was tight and resulted in her moaning in pleasure.

His hardness teased her entrance, her sounds growing louder as his mouth traveled down her neck. Without warning, Penelope lowered herself down on him. Both moaned hungrily as feelings of fullness and home consumed them. Derek's hands moved down to her hips and he began bouncing her upon his cock rapidly. Penelope's mouth sucked and bit along Derek's neck as her fingers dug into his shoulders and back. Her body bucked frantically against him, his control over her movements making her crave completion.

Derek was not a quick man by any means. Each time he made love to his Goddess, he worshiped her body for hours, making them experience sensations that were foreign to them. However, as her body bucked against him wildly, he could sense her need for swift and animalistic completion. "Pen?" he moaned, his hands traveling to the outsides of her thighs.

"I'm so close," she moaned, stealing his lips in a heated kiss. "Please," she breathed against him.

He didn't need to be asked twice. His thumb surged to her core and pressed against her swollen nub strongly. Penelope released a scream of desire as she clawed into his body, her inner walls tightening against his thrusting cock. Derek's movement froze and he felt himself explode within her tighten walls. He choked out her name as her breathless lips placed themselves softly against his neck. The after shocks of her release gave him a boost in pride as her mewls and moans filled his ears.

"You're so beautiful," she moaned against him.

"Isn't that my line?" he asked with tired humor.

"I stole it," she replied.

He could only laugh as he took advantage of her weakened form. His hand lifted her right breast, greeting him the sight of her most hated scar. Each time they made love, Derek made it a point to kiss along the wound, reminding her of her eternal beauty.

Penelope removed herself from his tired member and turned her body so her back was flush to his chest. She smiled as his grip tightened around her and his lips found her neck. "I missed you," she repeated, her eyes closing with new found exhaustion.

"Right back at you, beautiful," Derek said kissing down the column of her neck.

"How long do you have off?" she asked.

"We have half days the rest of the week to wrap up paper work from the California case. We resume regular hours Monday."

Penelope nodded as her finger nails grazed his forearms. Being in her husband's arms was her favorite place in the world.

"I found the letter," Derek murmured.

Penelope nodded, replying, "I had a feeling," she answered.

"What are you thinking?" he asked with timid curiosity.

Penelope sighed and looked out toward her bedroom door. Since receiving the letter, her heart was in a torrent of conflict. While she was relieved that her body had finally began adjusting to life without a lung, news of an available organ sparked hope within her of being able to carry hers and Derek's child safely to term. It sparked the hope of being able to return to her active life without harmful consequences. However, her heart stopped as she remembered the heartbreak and concern that lived in her husband's eyes during her surgeries and healing. She didn't want him to go through that suffering once again. "I want to know what you think," she replied.

Derek sighed and began answering her slowly. "I think that I have varying dreams every night. Some nights return me to my darkest fears of losing you. Of seeing her beaten and dying, knowing I couldn't save you. Yet, there are nights when my dreams are filled with hope. We are walking down a pathway, your hands tangled in mine. I look toward you and you remain so beautiful. However, we stop and you place my hands upon your stomach and my heart booms with pride and longing."

"Oh Derek," she sighed, turning her head toward his. He leaned his forehead against hers and she sighed contently as his thumb grazed her cheek.

"Doll, I know that this choice is your decision, but know that I support you in whatever you decide."

Penelope looked up at her husband with love filled eyes. He continued to amaze her with every minute they were together. His love for her was boundless and she was coming to accept that every second they had together was breathtaking. She nodded against him and pressed her lips against his. Penelope conveyed her love and desire for him as well as her fear and anxiety within their kiss. His hold upon her tightened as her tongue sought entrance into his mouth. After moments of healing and answers, she rested her forehead against his and focused her gaze downward to take a few calming breaths. "I want to have your baby," she said confidently. "I want our lives to not be altered by the state of my body. I want us to have a happy life where we watch our grandkids play as we sit in our rocking chairs with chocolates and smiles. I need to have this procedure, Derek. Do you understand?"

He nodded and pressed an approving kiss to her lips. "I love you," he whispered.

She smiled and turned her body from him, returning to their resting position within the tub while enjoying the remaining heat from the water. Though their path would continue to be filled with twists and turns, each took comfort in the fact that they would be on their path together, chasing away the darkest of nights.


End file.
